Pivot With Purpose Season 6 Episode 15 Arivee Vargas Full Transcript
Meghan Houle (00:02.264)
Audrey V, welcome to the Pivot With Purpose podcast. How are you? I'm so excited to finally have this conversation with you. Thank you so much for your time. Yes.
Arivee Vargas (00:11.684)
Thank you so much, Megan, for having me. It's so great to be here.
Meghan Houle (00:15.162)
Yeah, well, know synergistically we've come to each other's world being somewhat local, but I know you are such a champion for women and helping individuals in their own pivots and finding passion and purpose. Everything this podcast is about. So I just, feel like we were like meant to know each other. So very honored. Yeah. So with that, always love to kick off the podcast sharing
From your perspective, maybe a bit about where are we catching you in the here and now? What are you up to? Give us a little glimpse of your current world before we get into the juicy questions.
Arivee Vargas (00:58.522)
love this. So currently, I am launching my book, meaning marketing the book, because my book comes out in January, specifically January 14, 2025, called Your Time to Rise, Unlearn Limiting Beliefs, Unlock Your Power, and Unleash Your Truest Self. So that's my major project, Megan, like hot off the press. It's just available to pre -order.
Meghan Houle (01:07.183)
Yay.
Arivee Vargas (01:28.77)
as we sit here. So I'll be marketing that book, trying to get people to delve into it and read it and hopefully get a lot out of it. And that is one piece is, you know, the writing and the book. And then the other piece in my business is my, you my Women Empowerment Mastermind. It's a group coaching program, which is a four month program. And I have that and also my
other coaching programs and my speaking engagements, especially for Latino Heritage Month and beyond that. So that's where I am really in the thick of my business running my podcast as well. As you know, I have the Humble Rising podcast, but all things I honestly, Megan, these are things that I love to do. right. Like it's my purpose. It's my passion. And I am so grateful that I've been able to do that. And as you know, I, I left my corporate job and my life as a litigator.
Meghan Houle (02:05.243)
Ugh.
Meghan Houle (02:08.507)
Yeah.
Meghan Houle (02:13.456)
Yes.
Arivee Vargas (02:26.368)
months and months ago. And every single day, I am so grateful and thankful that I did that. Because although I had a great experience doing those things, and I learned a lot. And if I didn't have those experiences, I wouldn't be here today with all my expertise and all of my knowledge and all of my passion. I'm just really grateful and feel blessed to be doing what I'm doing.
Meghan Houle (02:45.51)
Yeah.
Well, and you're such a beautiful soul and I know you're just getting started in all that you're doing. However, it's fantastic to hear not just getting started, but like you have your foundation, but you're ready. Like things are popping if we're catching you in the season of like, let's go. So I love that for you. Yes. Yeah. And making that significant pivot, you know, where so much about this podcast is like truly
Arivee Vargas (03:09.508)
Thank you so much.
Meghan Houle (03:18.158)
understanding when you know maybe it's the right time. And I think a lot of people just get so caught up in that fear of like the unknown and what's next. But like, I'm sure you have stories for days of like how you've truly unlocked so much like untapped potential by stepping away from something that maybe wasn't serving you in a very certainty job in a very, you know, amazing
you know, sort of space where you went to school for all this education. But you know, if there's a point of misalignment or maybe there's something more for you to do, I mean, it really takes that special moment to be like, okay, like I'm ready to do this and I'm ready to like serve a bigger audience. So I give you so much credit. And you know, in terms of that journey that has taken you from big law, as you were saying, to now life as an author, high performance coach, like what motivated these pivots for you? And how did you really navigate that big
transition to kick off. Yeah.
Arivee Vargas (04:13.358)
Megan, what a huge, awesome question. So I will say that at the outset, that the transitions and pivots I've gone through took patience, a ton of introspection, and a ton of listening to myself, like really deciding to listen to myself. Because Megan, I was a litigator. And then I went.
at a firm, right? And then I went in -house to do litigation and did compliance, pivoted a little bit there more into the corporate compliance world to really stretch myself creatively and strategically in a totally different way. And then I transitioned to HR. That's when I left the law really behind was when I transitioned into HR to do employee relations and then leadership development and executive coaching.
And then it was in that role, Megan, like that was one of the critical moments in my career was that role, because it was the role that I had always wanted at that company. I had been at that company for eight years. I knew a lot of people. I knew how to get stuff done. I worked well with people. I really enjoyed my time there and everything I was doing there. I felt like I could do some really impactful work. And yet it wasn't enough for me, Megan, because I
I started thinking to myself, shoot, this isn't it either. Like you're playing small. You can have an impact here, but you know you're meant to have a bigger impact. And Megan, I'm a spiritual person and I have a lot of faith. And I really do believe that God was tapping me and being like, listen, I know you're comfy here and I know this feels good and this feels like you're doing your thing. He's like, but I'm telling you there's something great out.
greater out there that will, that is going to serve your purpose. And you're not playing the game. need you to play. You need to play bigger. And I know that's scary for you because you're comfortable and you like where you are, but I need you to step into your zone of genius. Cause this is not that. And Megan, that's really what pushed me to really give my notice, give my notice Megan a year before I thought I would. Right? Like I started thinking about it and thinking about it. was like, okay, I'm going to do it in a year.
Meghan Houle (06:32.464)
Mm -hmm.
Arivee Vargas (06:37.466)
I'm going to give myself a year. And then, no, that's not what happened. Literally three months after I thought that, I kept feeling this massive internal tension and tug, like this pull towards doing this thing full time and going full on entrepreneur. And to the point where I couldn't ignore it, like it was literally screaming at me. And I said, OK, I have to follow my heart. I have to follow.
my intuition, I have to answer this calling that I feel I'm destined to fulfill to make an even bigger impact than I could where I was. And so these decisions, like, obviously, you don't take them lightly. But when they're so anchored in something so true to you and you're so clear, Megan, they become easier, right? Like, even though you know, Megan, you know this, like, this journey of entrepreneurship is not for the faint of heart.
Meghan Houle (07:29.786)
No. Yeah.
Arivee Vargas (07:30.798)
But when you're clear as to why and what you're doing, it makes everything just easier.
Meghan Houle (07:37.562)
Yeah. no, I love that. And to kind of piggyback on those massive pivots where I'm sure you work with a lot of individuals that do this, I professionals struggle within identity shifts too when making those career changes. So coming from these amazing roles that you've held, like obviously being a litigator, like that's a very different energy, like being in a courtroom, know, all of that, and then managing the HR side, which, you know, I can certainly see that path for you.
Arivee Vargas (07:50.542)
Yes.
Meghan Houle (08:06.94)
now stepping in entrepreneurship, like I have to imagine you were wearing so many hats and you're probably not the same person today than maybe the same person I would have talked to 10 years ago. So how did you manage those internal conflicts between who you were and who you were becoming during these transitions? Because I know there's just so many shifts and I think that's where a lot of people get stuck too of like, wait a minute, people see me as this or.
I'm known for this, I'm recognized for this. Am I not gonna be seen anymore? Is my family not gonna align with my decisions, my friends? Is everything gonna come crashing down? How did you navigate those transitions of who you are now, who you've become? Truly, yeah.
Arivee Vargas (08:45.042)
Mm -hmm. Megan, there is one question I kept coming back to. I mean, I ask myself a lot of questions, but there is one question I kept coming back to. And it's because I was getting, I'm always very curious, right, about my own thoughts and how I'm feeling. And I feel intuition a lot, and I explore that, and I'm open to what those things can reveal to me. But the one question I kept asking myself was,
What is true for me now? What was true for me then may not be true for me now. So what is true for me now? And I think that's important because you just alluded to this. You spend so much of your life working towards something. And for me, that was being a lawyer. Let's be honest. I'm first generation Latina. I grew up, my parents are from the Dominican Republic. The idea of being a lawyer and frankly,
Meghan Houle (09:34.396)
Yeah.
Arivee Vargas (09:43.896)
I'm going to be very honest, making a lot of money doing that was a marker of success for me. And it will always be that for me. I do believe that it was one of the greatest things I could have ever done and gave me financial flexibility I could have never dreamed of having. But here's the thing. At a certain point, you're evolving and you're changing. And Megan, if I'm really honest, I knew when I became a first year associate at a big law firm
I knew like in my gut, even though I, you know, I ignored it, but there was always this whisper, always a whisper of, Adi V, come on, you know, you can do this job, but this isn't what you're meant to do. Always, Megan, always. It didn't, you know, working so hard in such long hours, you often don't have...
Meghan Houle (10:26.714)
Interesting.
Arivee Vargas (10:35.948)
I also didn't have the tools early, early in my career to really carve out time for myself and introspection and self care. Like didn't really know about all of that at that time. But there was always that whisper of like, shhh, Adivie, hey, is this really it for you? Is this what you're really meant to be doing? Like, this where your gifts, where you're gonna use your gifts, is where you can't even use them, right? Like this is where I remember as I was stepping from the law into HR to me,
Meghan Houle (10:43.953)
Yeah.
Arivee Vargas (11:05.486)
That was one of the biggest pivots because I was deciding I am no longer a lawyer. I am, I'll always be a lawyer with an inactive license, but I am no longer going to be pursuing that kind of path, right? I'm deciding that that is no longer my path. And it's because though I used to want to be a general counsel, I used to think I wanted to be a judge. I used to think I wanted to be a partner to.
I used to think I wanted to be a legal scholar. And what happened is that was no longer true for me anymore. And I had to be okay with that because that's what was true for me. And if I kept resisting it, I would continue to feel dissatisfied and I would continue to feel misaligned. And for me, like alignment of your values and your vision and your purpose with what you actually do and what you pursue is paramount. Like that is it for me.
And so I had to be willing to face uncertainty and the unknown. And now, Megan, because I've flexed that muscle a bit, right, through different things, I'm less fearful of the uncertainty because I believe in myself that I can figure things out with support around me. And this journey of entrepreneurship has been no different. Like, Megan, let's be honest, hard in the beginning to transition from corporate life to this very difficult transition in terms of
Meghan Houle (12:09.286)
Yeah.
Meghan Houle (12:25.478)
Yeah. God, yeah.
Arivee Vargas (12:31.118)
just the everyday, honestly, and feeling like, no, no, now it's on you. Like now you are the person. Like you are the approver. You set the strategy. You decide what's most important. You reprioritize when you need to prioritize. That's been a huge transition for me. But knowing that I'm literally standing in my truth is really powerful for me and makes me feel like it's all worth it.
Meghan Houle (12:58.78)
Well, and so it sounds like it was more of this like kind of like little voice on your shoulder of like this isn't it? This isn't it? You know, was there any other moment or experience that was really solidified the decision that a pivot was necessary despite all the fears, uncertainties and like what came with it after that when you just really committed and decided like how did you get there any other way? Yeah.
Arivee Vargas (13:25.272)
You know, I will say that the, I would say the catalyst for me thinking about even leaving the law firm was the birth of my son. When he was born, you know, when you have a child, people are like, my gosh, this is so amazing. And this is so great. And yes, it is amazing to have it. It's great. It is great to have a child, but.
Meghan Houle (13:31.439)
Mm -hmm.
Arivee Vargas (13:53.614)
But we don't talk enough about how when you've defined your entire life by your job and your profession and the reputation you have and for me, like the prestige and the pride I had in that, when you define yourself by your productivity and your performance and your title, which I very much did, and then you have a baby and I was privileged enough to have maternity leave provided by the firm.
That was such a privilege to have that, because I know a lot of people do not have that. But I had some time, right? Like, I'm with this infant who I just have to make sure stays alive and gets some nice cuddles, right? And you start creating more space for yourself. And when you get quiet, you hear yourself a lot more. You can actually listen to yourself. And I realized, like, my gosh.
Meghan Houle (14:43.004)
Mmm.
Arivee Vargas (14:48.868)
Who the hell am I now that I just am taking care of an infant all day? I don't have any of that daily external validation of me as a person because I got a lot of that from work. Like I really did equate my work with my worth. I really did at that time in my life. And when I had my son, it was just a massive identity shift instantly. And I would say, I would say to myself, I can't just be a mother. I know that may sound awful to some people, but
Literally, that's what I would think. I cannot just be a mother. Like, I am more than a mother. And going through that identity shift, and I had the baby blues, so that wasn't great either, because you're kind of feeling sad, even though when everyone's telling you should be so happy. That was really a big shift for me, because I had some space where I got curious about, why am I so miserable? Like, why does this feel so awful to me? And why do I feel like I'm coming undone?
Like I really did feel that way. And then that's when I read, for anyone who's listening, if you want two great books, Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown and A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson, talking about self -worth. And what does it mean to love yourself and to identify yourself with just being instead of with titles and with the things that you achieve and the need to perform and constantly produce to feel valuable to yourself.
And that really, I would say that moment in my life changed everything, like changed the trajectory from that point forward. Because now I had some tools, some ways to ask questions, some ways to figure things out, a way to listen to myself where I didn't have it before. And that was really the beginning because a year from when my son was born is when I left the firm.
Meghan Houle (16:37.368)
Yeah. Wow. No, so powerful. I'm like, adds to cart both of those books because that resonates with me so hard in terms of equating your work performance with your personal value. I mean, I'm just in like what I do in general already. Like it is, it is kind of the industry I'm into of like, you know, produce, produce, produce. And, you know, but I balance very much like you coaching and doing very meaningful work on my end where, you know, I'm, more just about
clients and being in the space and everything comes around. But I feel like many people listening in, a lot of people in corporate jobs or under umbrellas of bosses that are constantly measuring more through KPIs and metrics and all of this. What advice do you have for some others facing similar struggles in terms of struggling with equating your worth and personal value? mean, definitely those
Those books sound amazing, but like how did you overcome it beyond, you know, the reading and the, yeah, what else advice or thoughts that you would share about that for listeners too? Yeah.
Arivee Vargas (17:44.43)
I would say that there is this power in asking yourself, like, who are you without the title? Who are you without the degree? Who are you without the house? Who are you without the car? And the reason why that's important is because it gets to your essence. And, Megan, this is so important.
This will reveal if you really love yourself, honestly, because it strips away the things that people can reward you for. It strips away that ability, which makes you be much more real with yourself. And so that was one of the big questions I asked myself was, who am I without being a lawyer? Who am I also without being a law firm lawyer? Because that's a different level.
I would tell people to ask themselves those kinds of questions and to be able to be quiet. have to, here's the thing, Megan, you have to create space to be quiet and to be still, to listen to yourself. Because if you don't do that, the noise around you, that volume of the noise will always be turned up and you won't learn to turn it down. Cause you have to do is turn the volume up on your.
your innermost voice and the truest one and turn the volume down on expectations, what I used to want, previous dreams, what other people want for me, what do they say I can do, right? Because Megan, very, it's almost seductive when someone in your circle or a senior leader in your corporation tells you that you could be like a vice president, a senior vice president, like sees your potential and it starts encouraging you, right?
you start thinking, maybe actually I do want that. But you really don't. But because someone believes in you and they're validating you, they're making you feel worthy and valuable. You like that. So you think, maybe I should just do that when that's not true for you. So it's, who would I be without that title? Who do I most want to become? Who would I be most proud of? And for me, one of the biggest questions I did ask myself was,
Arivee Vargas (20:05.754)
If I'm 90 years old looking back on my life, what would I want to be most proud of?
Meghan Houle (20:13.912)
That's such an amazing, I'm like, we need to that in the show notes and have people respond in to us. No, but it's great and I don't feel like we give ourselves time to be still in this day and age and just really sit, I don't know, I always find solace by the water. I was someone who grew up very much on the beach and summers on the beach as a kid and just the peace and.
Arivee Vargas (20:20.058)
I'm
Arivee Vargas (20:25.188)
Yeah.
Meghan Houle (20:40.002)
I mean, certainly grew up in a time, too, where we weren't all enhanced in this technology world where you're like constantly connected and da -da -da. I'm like, please someone take my phone now and throw it into the ocean. Thank you. But I feel like even on the nights where I found myself recently, just because there's so many thoughts swirling, struggling to sleep, it's like getting up out of bed if you're not tired and just sitting in my dark.
room in my living room and then just like having a moment to our thoughts. Like when do we ever give ourselves that moment? So I love that and I can tell you how many times a day, probably thousands, you know, people I talk to on the recruiting side or career clarity things. It's like that you have to sit down with yourself and think about who you are and what you want to be or else there's nothing that's going to move you forward because you're right. There's going to be all these carrot stangling or someone that's going to identify like what they feel like your potential is. But do you want to do that? And if not, like what are those options for you? So
Arivee Vargas (21:21.176)
Yes.
Meghan Houle (21:33.87)
I freaking love that. And for someone who then have taken all of this and self discovery and self work and had transitioned now into this like incredible entrepreneurship life, what do you feel like have been those key lessons you've learned about running your successful coaching business and just like being an entrepreneur in general? Yeah.
Arivee Vargas (21:33.912)
Yes.
Arivee Vargas (21:54.516)
Megan, I got a lot. then the one that is coming top of mind for me right now is the importance of doing the work and patience. So we do the work when no one can see it, Megan, we're doing the work. We're in the background doing the work consistently. We're disciplined. We're doing the work, doing the work. Sometimes we won't see the fruits of our labor right away. But having the patience, because Megan, can't tell you how many times.
in the past just like month or two months where someone will say, I've been watching you. I've been following you. Or, hey, my friend who you were her coach last year or two years ago has been telling me about you. And then only now are they reaching out to me. We have to be patient while we're doing the work to move forward.
I can say that the discipline it takes to continue to show up, Megan, even if you don't know like what's gonna happen, again, that uncertainty, the unknown, it's been the greatest lesson because I'm learning to be unattached to outcomes while still having goals, right? Like revenue goals and strategy, right? Like you have these things that you're measuring yourself against, but I'm learning that.
I can still have that, but be unattached to specific outcomes. before, know, before entrepreneurship, that's just not how I operated.
Meghan Houle (23:25.954)
It's all attachment. It's like, I do this, then I'm going to get this or this is going to happen or I'm going to feel that certain way. Such great advice because I think that's where a lot of people get stuck in that outcome. Then that's where the frustration comes through and nothing's happening for me and nothing's landing. Then you spiral and get into this very negative energy bubble, which is very easy to get to. But then that's like a certain attractor. Then that's what you truly believe.
Arivee Vargas (23:32.716)
Exactly.
Meghan Houle (23:54.192)
That's going to become your reality. If you believe that you're not worthy to receive all these things or that some program that you want to launch is never going to come off and no one's listening, well, then that's reality. So I love that so much. And I know your framework for coaching and just in sharing now, like you can feel how passionate, compassionate you are, like super honest. How do you feel like these principles play a role in your coaching practice? And how do you feel like they help your clients achieve personal?
Arivee Vargas (24:03.727)
Yes.
Meghan Houle (24:23.652)
and professional growth working with you.
Arivee Vargas (24:26.948)
So when I'm coaching or even when I meet with a client to explore working together or potential client to explore working together, I'm always looking for them to get clearer on what it is they're trying to solve for. Like, what is it that they really want? And then what is the risk of not going for that? Like, that's really what
I'm trying to do when I talk to them for the first time is I want them to get clear on what it is they're actually after and then what's the cost of them not going after it, right? And then when we work together, if it's the right fit and we work together, what I'm really pushing them to do is becoming a lot more self -aware of the things that they aren't even aware of, right? Megan, we talk a lot about unconscious beliefs, right? So people oftentimes
will say, I believe, for example, I believe spending time with my children is the most important thing for me during the week. But then you look at their life and they share with you their calendar or they just share with you kind of what their day is like and what their daily grind is like. And you ask them, OK, how does that show up in your life then if that's most important to you? And they see, they can see from a bird's eye view, it's not showing up.
So it's like, wait, so do you really believe that that's most important thing for you during the week? And then someone will say, maybe I don't. And that's OK. I'm there to create a space of no judgment, right, Megan? I'm not trying to judge you. I just want you to be honest with yourself and start living in alignment with what's true. Or if you don't like what's true, OK, what kind of parent do you want to be? Let's move in that direction. And so a lot of it is,
Meghan Houle (25:59.908)
Totally. Yeah.
Arivee Vargas (26:16.76)
being very honest with themselves. And my job is to hold a mirror to them. That's my job. My job isn't to judge it. It's to say, OK, is this what you really want? And then the framework that I use is very much about self -assessing, self -understanding, self -awareness, moving into who do I want to actually become and how do I really want to live and work intentionally. And taking people out of this
these limiting beliefs of I have no time, I have no control, know, is unproductive, all these limiting beliefs and flipping them and allowing them to see that they can live and work differently when you decide and get clear on things. And a lot of what we work on is operating from like a future self perspective, right? Like you're working towards that person. And so what would that person advise you to do in this moment?
Right? Like would that person look back and say, yeah, I'm proud of that decision. Is that a value -based decision? And so a lot of what I, what I, my goal with clients, cause that's really their goal is how am going to reclaim, you know, being a leader in my own life, right? Like, how am going to reclaim my time, reclaim my energy, like reclaim my purpose, reclaim what's true for me and live in alignment with that. Because to me, again, the tighter your alignment,
the more satisfied and the happier you're going to be with your life.
Meghan Houle (27:47.772)
Mm -hmm, 100 ,000%. We're going to go back to that in a second as well. But that is amazing and louder for the people in the back. And then also too, I know you are fiercely passionate about helping women in this overthinking moment. So not only do we have limiting beliefs, we're overthinking every step. We need to just start doing. What are some common barriers you see with the women you work with that are holding us back?
Arivee Vargas (28:11.257)
Yes.
Meghan Houle (28:17.604)
And how do you also guide them through those obstacles? Because the biggest part, REV, is just starting. Yeah.
Arivee Vargas (28:25.016)
Yeah, no, but I think it's because see, think it's because we get consumed by perfectionism and it has to be perfect the first time. I'm like, yeah, but you haven't done it yet. So it's not going to be perfect. it's, but it's, but what's cool about what I love about coaching is you get to have a person who's your person to be like, it's okay if it's not perfect because remember perfection doesn't exist. But even so like,
Meghan Houle (28:32.764)
True. Yep.
Meghan Houle (28:39.024)
Right? Yeah.
Arivee Vargas (28:53.954)
It's Megan, it's like, you it's like, you know, you shouldn't have like, maybe you should have one cookie, but not five. And you know, it's not good for you, but you do it.
Meghan Houle (29:01.084)
We love those cookies though.
Arivee Vargas (29:04.442)
Right, right. it's, we know it's almost like we know things that we should be doing. We just don't do them. And it's because we have these, these expectations of what it should look like, this ideal expectation of ourselves, which reaches perfectionist standards that are not possible. And so we won't even go for it unless we're certain it's going to work. Like we know it's going to work. Absolutely. And we know it's going to be 1000 % perfection.
Meghan Houle (29:27.484)
Hmm. Mm -hmm.
Arivee Vargas (29:32.706)
And those are the, I will say those are the, those are two huge ones because it prevents you from even starting. It prevents, you're like, it's not, you say to yourself, it's not worth it. Why bother? Right? And I do think there is this obsession with certainty and knowing exactly how it's going to turn out because we want to make sure, like we want, we want to guarantee that our,
our grind, our hustle, whatever we're working towards is going to be worth it. Like we want to make sure it's going to be worth it. And sometimes, you know, if you're measuring it by like nailing that goal, yeah, that's going to be a problem because we forget that the real reward is in the process, right? We know that is really in the process, but it's really hard for people to understand that unless they kind of know this work or they've done it before. And so I will say that
Meghan Houle (30:25.564)
Yeah.
Arivee Vargas (30:28.01)
If there is one number one fear that I constantly come up against or I see or observe, especially when it comes to women professionals who are trying to give themselves more time to take care of themselves and just like kind of, you know, be with themselves and have personal time. The number one fear is to me is
I want to make sure that if something comes up, I'm available. I want to make sure that I'm not perceived as someone who isn't committed, who isn't responsive, who isn't there for especially a more senior person. I see that a lot, this fear that I need to be, I'm counted on. I need to be perceived as reliable.
Meghan Houle (31:20.518)
Huh.
Arivee Vargas (31:26.522)
as if there's only one definition of reliability, which is that you're available 24 -7. We've accepted that no reliability and being responsible and being a quote unquote good employee or a good quote unquote colleague is to be available all of the time and to put others' needs ahead of our own. We've accepted that. And when you start back to, you we still do what's not great for us, back to that.
Meghan Houle (31:31.856)
Right.
Yeah.
Arivee Vargas (31:55.386)
We know that's not good for us. Like we know that, but it's very hard for people to change their behavior. And for example, workout at 8 a when they're like, wait, but what if someone so emails me or texts me and needs something and I'm not there? It's very difficult for them to switch that behavior. And what I always tell people is we can go back to the science. Of course you're gonna freak out. Your brain is so used to you doing this this way.
Meghan Houle (32:11.718)
Yep, yep.
Arivee Vargas (32:24.666)
for so long, when you introduce the equation, it's going to freak out. It's going to think there's a threat and it's going to try to convince you to not do it. And your job is
Meghan Houle (32:24.795)
Yep.
Meghan Houle (32:33.626)
Yep. Literally this is me yesterday, by the way, not to interrupt, but literally me at the gym yesterday getting the flurry of emails. I'm like, that's it. I'm just going to walk out and like respond to this. And I was like, Megan, no, it's like, you know, no one, no one is in danger here. if you don't pour into yourself, girl, it's not going be good. So not to interrupt, like literally that happened to me yesterday. So people like put the phone down. It's fine.
Arivee Vargas (32:51.886)
Yes.
Yes. Yes, Megan, so much, it's the not taking care of yourself in the morning. It's the constantly feeling like you need to respond to every email at night. And I tell people, I always tell people, if we want to talk about boundaries, I mean, I love talking about boundaries because boundaries have almost nothing to do with the other person. It's all about how you're responding to people. That's all it is. And you respond by
whether you are writing a response or you're not or you're speaking, it's also really responding with your actions and inactions, right? And people feel very uncomfortable not responding to a 10 PM email. They feel really, that's very uncomfortable for people when that's what they've known. And I say, right, if you just decide not to respond and it's not urgent, what will happen? What's gonna, well.
nothing will happen. Absolutely. And you go through all those scenarios with clients. What's your worst case scenario? What's the cost of not doing this? Or the cost of doing it as well. But I do find that there is a lot of fear and worry and guilt attached to how we live and work. like you said, your perception is kind of your reality. And whatever you tell yourself, your brain was going to believe.
That's what we really work on, believing something different and then taking action from that place so that you are, as you take more action and more action, you believe it even more and you create momentum. That's really where the magic is.
Meghan Houle (34:31.632)
Yeah. And then going back to speaking about aligning your energy with time and what truly matters as we're like continuing on this conversation, how did you define what was most important and then how has this alignment impacted your life now?
Arivee Vargas (34:48.368)
wow. So this is a great question because for me and what I also always share is, you know, finding out what's most important. One, again, takes you have to take the time and the space to really listen to yourself, right? To figure this out. But one thing, one practical thing I can share is really understanding, you know, your own core values.
meaning what are the guiding principles that you live by? Like, what do you really stand for? And what, and the flip side of that, you can think about it and people say, well, I don't know what they are. It's like, okay, when someone does something or you see something, like what really frustrates you? Like it really gets under your skin. Like a lot of times people, for instance, who have a value of like service is really core to who they are. And they really value serving other people and community.
And when they see others not do that, or when they are not able to themselves be in that space on a consistent basis, like they get into a bad mood, like their energy shifts. Like those are the ways you can kind of figure it out. But I think that alone anchoring myself in my true core values, not values I wish I had, Megan, not those, the ones that, but I'm really, no, but I'm not really like.
Meghan Houle (35:54.521)
Excellent.
Arivee Vargas (36:12.654)
Like one of my core values is freedom. And that's time freedom. That's money freedom. That's freedom to do whatever I want, when I want. Obviously, I have children. I have things I have to compromise on. freedom and then for me, one of my core values is teaching, which means that when I'm doing that, I am lit up. Right? And if I'm not doing that, it's a problem.
Meghan Houle (36:23.856)
Yeah.
Arivee Vargas (36:38.21)
Right, Megan, so like if I'm not speaking anywhere for a month, that is a problem for me because I love doing that. I love teaching and sharing and communicating with people who are looking for answers to certain things that they're going through in their lives and helping them through that. So that's just one example of something super practical people could do is really think about what are their true core values and how are they living or not living?
in alignment with those and then what's one small thing you can change to start making sure there's more congruence there.
Meghan Houle (37:16.636)
Well, and then when we get to those points of establishing those values and like, I'm sure you have so many great success stories of seeing your clients like really shine. What is that transformation process look like for you where you know you're like, okay, we're doing it and I'm just so proud of my client. I mean, I know we can't attach our client's outcome to what we give them because it's all the work. So we're going back to those people. Nothing's guaranteed but.
Arivee Vargas (37:38.616)
Yes.
Meghan Houle (37:43.58)
What are some of the beautiful transformations that you've seen from people working with you that you're just so proud of?
Arivee Vargas (37:49.348)
Gosh. Megan, had, well, Megan, had a client who, came, she was an executive. She came to me and she said to me on our call, like very, very straightforward, honest, very transparent. She said, I just can't live like this anymore. All I do is work.
All I do is answer emails. get up at 6 AM. I'm on the phone. I'm in meetings. I get off work at 9 PM, 10 PM. I'm always on the emails. I don't see my family the way that I want to see them or as often as I want to see them. I don't get to see my friends as often as I want to see them. And I have no personal time. And I can't live like this anymore. I don't want to be 65 looking back on my life and asking myself, like, what did I do? Like, what was I doing?
That's literally our first conversation. Megan, you fast forward six months. She, I mean, I still can't believe the transformation was incredible. She would tell me things like, I didn't know changing in this way was possible. I didn't know I could live this kind of life and have this career still while living my life in this way. And she literally would, she said that I didn't know it was possible, but now I do because I'm doing it. And I finally have time for me. I finally,
and doing the things that I wanna do and I'm happy in my career too. Cause Megan, that's like super important. Like people think that if they don't have personal time, it's their job's fault. And that's not to me in my experience, not usually true. It's a person hasn't figured out how do I make this life and career thing work for me in a way that makes me happy and satisfied and fulfilled, right? That's like, that's one of the, I think one of the...
greatest stories I've been a part of, journeys I've been a part of is seeing her move through those six months in that way and seeing her light up and having more energy and feeling, and even on the phone, you could tell, like just, she felt lighter, like lighter in her energy.
Meghan Houle (39:55.292)
That's so beautiful. Yeah. And great to see like with your accountability and support, but then, you know, again, your clients have to get there themselves and to see the things and make those meaningful changes. It's really special. So you're doing incredible work that I know as a mom, as a first generation Latina, like legacy is so much, you know, you have so many people looking up to you and, you know, I'm sure like with your book and just how front facing you are in your engagements, like, you know,
Arivee Vargas (40:07.63)
Thanks.
Arivee Vargas (40:18.682)
Bye.
Meghan Houle (40:23.824)
there's a responsibility to build that legacy. How do you view that responsibility to leave your legacy and how does this influence your work and maybe advice that you offer to others?
Arivee Vargas (40:35.779)
my, Megan, I love this question. I love all your questions, but this question is a...
Meghan Houle (40:39.492)
I got you girl. Hire me for your next podcast people. No, I'm just kidding. love you. Yeah. Yeah.
Arivee Vargas (40:46.778)
No, this is super important to me. Because for me, I feel like I am living a life that my great grandmother, my grandmother, my parents could never have imagined. I myself growing up the way I grew up, I could never have imagined the life I live right now. It wasn't even in the realm of possibility to me. And so when I think about legacy,
Meghan Houle (41:00.385)
I love that.
Arivee Vargas (41:17.452)
I often think about my kids, obviously, and what I would hope they would believe is that there literally is no impossibility. Like, they literally can do anything. And for me, the legacy I would want to leave just in terms of a greater impact beyond, obviously, my children is to show others what really could be possible when you decide you're going to live and work in alignment with who you are.
You have the courage to expand yourself, to question yourself, to explore who you are, to explore what you may want, to follow your curiosity, even if it scares you, because I don't believe in fearlessness. I believe we do things even though we're afraid. And you live your life the way you want to do it, because there is this attachment that we have to...
show people and to do the things that will be socially rewarded and that will be socially recognizable and recognized. And if we could just shed that, like shed those layers and shed all of those expectations and those, frankly, those limitations and tap more into ourselves, like that's the kind of legacy I want to leave is like, hey, she did all of these things with no roadmap and she followed
her intuition, she followed her truth, she stood in her truth and constantly was allowing herself to continue on a path, even though the path has been like a winding road up one mountain, down one, right, this is not a linear path I've lived. But just showing people that you can live how you wanna live, you just gotta summon the courage to do it. Because the worst thing is for you to...
be on your deathbed whenever that is, because we don't get to decide when we go, and not be okay with how you did this thing called life. Like titles are cool, money's cool, yeah. But you know what's really cool is feeling like you lived a good freaking life. And I want to encourage people to do that and take the reins on their life to do it, to live fully and to feel fully alive. And that's how I hope to live my
Meghan Houle (43:25.168)
Yeah.
Meghan Houle (43:36.06)
Absolutely, yeah, no deathbed regrets. I talk about that quite often too. Many of the people I look up to talk about that as well. And I always say in my, whether it's coaching or recruiting, it's like at the end of the day, you're not gonna be like, I wish I worked harder one more day. You're like, no. And I think like legacy and success sometimes gets like a little confused or like intermixed and twangled, because they're two very different things.
Arivee Vargas (43:51.247)
Right.
Meghan Houle (44:02.776)
What about success? What do you feel like coming from these big prestigious jobs and this incredible path that you could have had? I'm like, judge RV. Absolutely. Sign me up. I don't know. I feel like when we first connected, I laugh because I should have probably always been a lawyer. I watch law shows, and I'm like, absolutely. Get me in there. I scream at my husband all the time because I'm a big Suits fan. I'm like, I'm taking the LSATs. That's it.
Arivee Vargas (44:30.884)
Sweet, Megan, I love suits. Such a good show.
Meghan Houle (44:32.634)
That's it. Yeah, we love suits. Hashtag anyone loves suits. Like, know, Ken Ash will start a side comment. But you know, what do feel like success means to you now? And how has that definition changed over the years for you? I know you've probably referenced it a few times, but I think success is a little bit different than legacy too. Yeah.
Arivee Vargas (44:49.242)
Yeah, so I will say I will just and I'm fully transparent about this is success before maybe 20 years ago, 30 years ago meant, you know, making money and making my parents proud in that way, like having a prestigious job, prestigious title, having my reputation intact, having a pristine reputation, being known to be a hard worker and someone known to be responsible and reliable and and
be able to have financial freedom and financial stability. That was, to me, that's how I viewed success before. And part of that was always giving back to my community. Like I've always been involved in the community, so that was always part of it. But success primarily was based on traditional societal markers of success, right? And that's not, I will say, like I don't feel bad about that, right? Like I don't feel, yeah, yeah.
Meghan Houle (45:43.996)
And it's still there, it still exists, right? For some people, that's just what it is, but not for everyone. Right, yep.
Arivee Vargas (45:47.95)
Yeah, and it's not something to feel guilty about or weird about. It's just, that's how I viewed it then. And now my definition is just so much more expansive and encompassing, right? Because now I view success as something that has to be more holistic. So yes, I personally view that part what makes me successful, I believe part of it is having money freedom. And that means you have to make money and have money.
So that's part of it, but my more encompassing definition of success is more about living in alignment with my truth and being able to share the most important moments with the most important people in my life.
Meghan Houle (46:35.452)
Love that so much. just feel like there's so many nuggets in here. So I really hope everyone is taking it in and it's resonating, I'm sure. And some final thoughts that I'd love to go through really for your advice too on this whole heart of the podcast in terms of making major career pivots and starting over. What advice would you give to somebody who may be considering now a major career pivot, but feels just overwhelmed by the start of it and where to start?
What advice would you give them?
Arivee Vargas (47:07.652)
I would say, if I'm giving one piece of advice, I'm going to say, I need you to think about who you want to be in a year's time. Where do you want to be in a year's time? When you picture your work day, what does that look like? What does a great work day look like for you? And I encourage people, this is part of the visioning I do with clients too, but I encourage people to
Think about that day from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep. So you're actually gonna go through your whole day and you're gonna visualize what would be the ideal workday for me and see how aligned that is with how you're living now. Because career pivots are overwhelming, especially if like you don't have a direction, like you don't know where to start. And I always say, then we have to start with dreaming possibilities because
If you know where to start, let's get some direction going. And a vision helps you get some direction going. It starts to have things bubble up. And you can get curious about those things after you try something.
Meghan Houle (48:18.726)
Yeah. Well, what advice would you go back and then maybe give your younger self as you were navigating early on in your career? What would you say to your younger self early on? Don't take the LSAS. No, I'm just kidding.
Arivee Vargas (48:31.642)
No. Okay, so a few things. A few things. would say two main things. One is no one is thinking about you. And I say that there are two sides to that. Yes, there are two sides to it, Megan. So on the one hand, we get caught up in what people will think, but people have their own things that they are dealing with, their own work on their plate. They aren't thinking about us the way that we think they are.
Meghan Houle (48:34.929)
Yeah.
Meghan Houle (48:41.83)
So true, right? I know, I say that too, Yep.
Meghan Houle (48:53.562)
Yes. Yeah.
Arivee Vargas (48:59.674)
And then on the other hand though, because they're not thinking of you, this means you have to really advocate for yourself. You have to like really promote yourself and you have to get yourself top of mind for all of the good things that could come your way to other people. Like you have to get on their radar. So, you know, because they're not thinking of you all the time. So you constantly have to be, you know, meeting up with people, following up with people.
making sure you're visible with people and building those relationships because Megan, back to career pivots, one of the greatest assets I probably had was a very strong network. And even within the company I was working for, I was able to pivot multiple times to different roles because of the relationships I built within that company. And because I was constantly saying, hey, let's catch up, right? Even when I had nothing to really share,
I would think of something and we would catch up and we would give each other updates. The importance of maintaining relationships, that's what networking is, it's just relationships. We call it networking, but it's just connections, right? That's like number one is like no one is thinking about you and because no one is thinking about you, you gotta up the ante and also understand that people aren't thinking about you the way that you think they are. The second thing I will say is,
Meghan Houle (50:07.6)
Yeah.
Arivee Vargas (50:22.872)
And this is a huge one because so many people ask me like, did you always plan for this? And I'm like, no, you know, just what the evolution and what the universe and God had in store for me. I always say it's okay to change your mind. It's okay to not want to be one of the few in an environment. So if for me as a Latina, like always one of the few, it's okay if you decide, I don't want to bear that burden. It's okay if you don't want to do that. And it's okay to take a risk and do something different.
That's how we grow. So don't think you have to be stuck with the dream you had five years ago. Even when there are multiple people who invested their time and energy into to help you reach a goal, it's okay to say, hey, I don't want that goal anymore, but I would love for you to help me continue on to this other journey I have.
Meghan Houle (51:13.116)
Wow. Million dollar advice right here. I hope everyone goes back and listens to this podcast multiple times because I mean, it's something I preach day in and day out, but really to hear it and know how passionate you are and how hard you've worked to get to where you are and how many lives you're changing and the transformations, it's so beautiful, but it truly, it does start with us. It starts with clarity.
And I love that nugget because I say that and then I sound like mean, but we're not being mean girls. Like no one is thinking of us truly. like closed mouths do not get fed people. So get out there, talk about your goals, get in front of the right people. The network is everything. I mean, the investments that I've made, big, small, otherwise of just getting into rooms have been so powerful. It changed my life, changed my business. So however you can become more visible and seen and confident in that is very special and super transformative.
as well. Thank you so much for sharing all of that. On to you before I let you go, what's next for you in your journey of growth and empowerment? Are there any new projects or goals that you're excited about working to the end of the year and then your book, which we'll link in the show notes for January? Everybody go pre -order as soon as this podcast ends. Go click and get that book in your cart. What are you excited about or have going on further?
Arivee Vargas (52:09.914)
Thanks.
Arivee Vargas (52:34.572)
I, Megan, honestly, this book, I'm like really excited about this book, right? This is gonna, this is, I just, I'm so excited to run the mastermind, be a part of all of those women, their journeys, and to, you know, continue speaking and connecting with people live, which I really love. And this book though is something that's been so many years in the making that I really feel like will.
Meghan Houle (52:37.53)
Me too. I'm in a book club.
Arivee Vargas (53:02.106)
deeply resonate with women and will be a guide for them, right? Like it's a way to get started on kind of the questions you're asking, right? Like, where does one start when one's so overwhelmed? It's like, well, this book is a great start for someone because it's like, it's also a book that you do. You do the book because there are exercises in the book. There are questions I'm asking. It's not just a theoretical, conceptual, philosophical type of book. It really is interactive.
Meghan Houle (53:22.353)
Awesome.
Arivee Vargas (53:31.284)
And so I'm just excited about this book and hitting the ground running and getting this out there and seeing the impact it can make on people's lives.
Meghan Houle (53:41.446)
No, lots more to come. Like I said, I feel like we need like a book event or something. Like we'll be craving that Q1 of next year. So more to come there. I don't know. I'm planning some of your goals too. So stay tuned. And I think in whole fashion, I'm like, let me tell you what you're going to do as well. But where can people find you, engage with you, work with you? I mean, everything's in the show note, but you have your podcast. You have so many like generous offerings. And I know you're so generous with your time.
Arivee Vargas (53:46.381)
it's not.
Arivee Vargas (53:50.148)
you
Okay.
Meghan Houle (54:07.844)
Now you're mastermind your book, like what's your favorite platform? What's the best way for people to find you and engage with you after the podcast?
Arivee Vargas (54:17.476)
So the Humble Rising podcast is available on any platform. I am most active on LinkedIn in terms of social media. I'm on LinkedIn and I am on IG as well. It's just adivivargas is the handle. And people can reach out to me at adivivargas .com. That's A -R -I -V -E -E -V -A -R -G -A -S .com. And if you want to check out the book to see more of what the book is about, that's adivivargas .com slash book.
Meghan Houle (54:47.036)
Who's so many things? So many things to look forward to. going back to the very first comment I made, I am so excited to have you in my space, to have linked up, to have found each other. I feel like we were also both in the top 15 Boston coaches. So go us, girl, y 'all. But you are doing great things. And I can't wait for this book.
Arivee Vargas (55:03.384)
YES!
Meghan Houle (55:10.14)
and all to come and I hope there's a great opportunity for me to come and see you in real life and I'm sure your speaking engagements are just so powerful. So anyone in your world now is very lucky and to all the listeners coming in, like please make sure you connect with REV and get to all her links and pre -order that book and we're just gonna keep making all the things super success and defining our own version of success with whatever that looks like for you through clarity.
and just the dream and the vision. I so love that. So many exercises in this podcast. So thank you for all your time and wishing you all the best, my friend. You're amazing.
Arivee Vargas (55:50.18)
thank you so much, Megan. It's been such a pleasure being with you. I love your podcast and I love the work you're doing. So thank you so much.
Meghan Houle (55:57.222)
Thank you.