Pivot With Purpose: Season 3 Bonus Transcript

Pivot With Purpose, a podcast that highlights the unique stories of professionals that pivoted their careers to align with their work lives and personal lives more purposefully and with more joy.

Pivot what purpose is hosted by Meghan Houle, a globally accredited career and business coach and creator of the Meghan Houle Method. 

Welcome back to the Pivot with Purpose podcast. I'm your host Meghan Houle, and in this episode we talked to Cody Elaine Oliver, CEO and co-founder of Black Love Inc. The premier, 100% black owned partner for celebrating 360 degrees of black.

Thank you for listening to Pivot With Purpose with host Meghan Houle, you can find out more information about each guest, including full transcripts at pivotwithpurposepodcast.com and if you'd like to share your own pivot with purpose, click on the share button and add your story to the conversation.

Finally, be sure to subscribe and share your comments wherever you listen to your favorite podcast. Your support amplifies our voice. And now this week's episode.

The Media Company founded by Codie Elaine Oliver, and husband Tommy Oliver is a hub for black couples and singles to have transparent conversations around relationships, parenthood dating and more through their O T T app podcast, network, documentaries and live events. Birthed from the frustration of a lack of representation of healthy black relationships in mainstream media. Codie and Tommy created an independently funded Black Love Inc to showcase authentic stories about the joys and challenges in black families in relationships at every stage in life.

In forging her own path, she continues to inspire and restore hope for love for countless others, while navigating a thriving career and balancing her own family and loved life. 

[00:00:00] meghan_houle: Codie Elaine Oliver! Welcome to the Pivot With Purpose Podcast. Thank you so much for joining us today.

[00:00:08] codie: Hi, how are you? 

[00:00:10] meghan_houle: Hi. I'm doing so well. How are you? How's your week?

[00:00:13] codie: Ooh, every week it's a lot lately, you know, juggling three kids and, and wifeing and running a company. And pivoting, being very thoughtful 

[00:00:25] meghan_houle: We're always pivoting 

[00:00:26] codie: About my pivots? Yes, absolutely. 

[00:00:30] meghan_houle: Well, I have to say, I know how busy you are with all the things. So I'm so

honored to have you on our podcast today, and I cannot wait to dive into your story in terms of your career pivots, which is at the heart of our podcast, but also after learning more about you watching your own Black Love episodes, your pivot in your career also led you to find love didn't it?

[00:00:53] codie: Yes. One, one of my pivots. Yes.

[00:00:58] meghan_houle: Okay, so I, I have to pitch, maybe there's a show in here next, Codie Maybe like a career clarity coach defining love. Okay,

[00:01:05] codie: Hmm.

That's, I like

that 

[00:01:09] meghan_houle: I'll pitch you later. No, but seriously I think in these moments, where sometimes, you know, things don't feel like anything is on the right path or the right time. The universe is pretty magical, right? It will always show you. the way, be it love, career or otherwise, and honestly, here we are today, so I love it.

Thank you for taking your time and let's dive into the early years of Codie recently I've loved, Yes, I can't wait. You know, I've loved asking this question as I'm interviewing people, so I'm gonna put this out to you as I find it so fascinating to see how we transition as little people when we're younger and how our personalities we pick up as kids tend to stay with us throughout our lives. So tell us what were you like as a child and is that consistent with who you are now?

[00:01:56] codie: The short answer is yes what was I like? I mean, bubbly, happy, silly. I sometimes tie the fact that I was a child actor with where I am now because I've always been a creative, like a storyteller. I was also an athlete, but by the time I was in third grade, I was doing plays in Fort Worth, Texas, and then in sixth grade I was on a TV show. Then I had to make a choice cuz acting is a really, time consuming thing. I had to make a choice between auditions and athletics and at that time I was playing volleyball, basketball, and doing track, so I was just busy and I was happy but I've always been a storyteller for sure.

[00:02:34] meghan_houle: I love it. That's so awesome. I feel like as kids, we always have so many hobbies, especially like back in the day where we didn't have our cell phones or PlayStation . They're like, get outside, go to the theater. And I also love the theater and acting also, but definitely came to the point where I was playing sports and got a job and they're like, Yeah, you can't do it all.

That hustle kind of stays with us, I really love it. Well give us a glimpse into the early stages, kind of digging into your career. Speaking career wise, did you go to school for what you set out to do within your first job?

[00:03:07] codie: So, no, when I went to college, again, the creative, right? But my mom's a lawyer, my dad's a doctor. They both own their own practices and so, I like stability. I was like going, I wanted to be a business major because I'm like, well, everybody needs business majors and so maybe one day I'll work at a magazine or something, you know, bright and shiny, but in the field of business.

I hated accounting and, changed my major after a year, to broadcast journalism. I think it was a year, year and a half to broadcast journalism. And even that, I was like, "Okay, I can't do this business thing as a study, but what can I do in a creative field and still feel like there's some stability, there's some track there?"

All of this is 2001, 2002. So I think that now there's more of a creator mentality that's accepted and exciting to young people who, I feel old saying that,

[00:04:01] meghan_houle: We're not old. No way.

[00:04:03] codie: But you know, for me, I pivoted, I changed my major to broadcast journalism and I actually have a story there. I knew I wanted to be in the school of communications. I wasn't trying to be an actor or anything like that. I was trying to figure out like, what is that creative space where I can use my writing, and my voice and or face, right?

Because I was even looking at radio, tv, film as a major and my mom was on Oprah Winfrey's show it was a breast cancer episode. She dealt with breast cancer and she was one of the guests. And I talked to Oprah and her producer Diane Hudson, about it and like, What should I change my major to? And they were like, broadcast journalism. Now, two things about that a) when Oprah tells you to do something, you do it. So I did...

[00:04:45] meghan_houle: Right? I was gonna be like, "Hey, can we just go back to Oprah?" Because I'm dying to get like any mentor on the streets. You're like, There's casual. Talk to Oprah. Hashtag goals. Hello.

[00:04:54] codie: It was so long ago now that it's like easy for me to kind of look at it in that way, but 

[00:04:59] meghan_houle: it's still so cool.

[00:05:00] codie: but it was definitely like, okay, that's what she told me to do. That's what I'm gonna

[00:05:03] meghan_houle: Right. I'm doing it.

[00:05:04] codie: but even think about again, this being 2001, 2002, and that old school mentality. For them it was, I don't know what radio, TV, film even means, like if I see that on a resume, broadcast journalism, I know what you studied, I know what your capabilities are do that. And so it made sense. And so that's what I did. And then when I graduated college, I went to work at Fox News. I shouldn't even have said that because I hated it so much. But I went to work at a 24 hour news network and it was horrible.

[00:05:36] meghan_houle: Yeah.

[00:05:37] codie: So that's where we get into the, I guess the first pivot or the second pivot.

[00:05:41] meghan_houle: I think sometimes too we don't know what we don't know, and sometimes the biggest shiny jobs and maybe as you know, and we've been connecting, do a lot of recruiting and career coaching, talking to people about, making those moves and they see like, "Oh, I gotta work for this brand", or "I gotta get into this", and fine you get in there and sometimes it's just not what it is, and it's kind of the expectation, hangover, I call it. But you learn so much, right. About what you want to do and what you don't wanna do. So I think those are meaningful jobs to have too, where you're like, "Ugh! Not the right thing", but I'm taking away some things.

[00:06:15] codie: It was huge because it definitely led me to my next move and going backwards, when I was in school, I did all the internships, I'm very big on if I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna do it all the way. So I had an internship every semester. There were so many things within the news business that I learned, and one of those things I was working for the CBS affiliate in DC and I did news packages, like feature news packages with a long time anchor. She had been there 30 years, so she could do whatever she wanted. And so the packages that we did each week were, highlighting a key figure in DC that was making an impact on people and typically someone in the community, right? Much less like news, like, oh, breaking news, this is what happened, car accidents and shootings and it was not that at all. It was like the director of the symphony and how they were , taking over and so it was much more creative and, emotionally driven. So when I worked at Fox News, I just needed a job. I had interned there before I graduated and when I graduated, I traveled, around the world for six weeks. And when I got back my dad was like, "You need a job". So I started working at Fox News and I definitely hated it, wonderful people that I worked with in DC but the overall brand and the work, the fact that every day we would have a meeting about the worst things that happened in the world and what to cover.

It was just not for me, but it led me to fall in love with trailers for movies and TV and movies and TV themselves. But it led me to fall in love with that and say, I've gotta figure out how to get in that business.

[00:07:48] meghan_houle: And storytelling. Right? Because in highlighting some of those guests, that's what it's about. It's telling people stories. So where was the pivot from, from Fox? What was next?

[00:07:57] codie: Yeah, so I went to USC for film school I decided I wanted to study something in film, cuz again, I didn't know what I was doing, so I had to learn and I researched what is a director, what is a producer, what is a writer? And realized that producing is the business of film, the business of storytelling.

And so I said, with a lot of creativity in there. So I was like, okay, I wanna learn more about that. And I went to the Peter Stark producing program at USC in 2007 after working for Fox News for two years. And I dove in into LA to school, to every internship I could get and so that was the first Pivot is like, now I'm in film school.

[00:08:37] meghan_houle: And then from film, were there other career doors that were opening? What was that path that you were taking? 

[00:08:44] codie: So within it, and particularly being in a producing program, I became obsessed with CAA, which is, then and now the leading, talent agency. But what was interesting to me about CAA was that they had agents who represented actors, writers, directors. They had a marketing department. They had, I think what they called lifestyle at the time, which was, again, this is 2008 when I entered there. But this is when celebrities were like building brands, right? You might be an actress, but now you have a clothing line or a line of bedding. I found all of that to be so interesting how this one company could help people in all of these various ways. And even sort of licensing in terms of projects, right? Like a particular film could now have a line of products associated, et cetera. And how they package all of that for the overall good of the project or the piece of talent and making money.

And so I was very interested in all of that. I had great relationships there and considered like, should I be an agent? You know, like , Is that why I'm here? And ultimately decided that I had stories in me that I wanted to tell. And if I'm an agent, then I'm working on everybody else's stories.

[00:09:50] meghan_houle: Right.

[00:09:51] codie: But that was one of those things that's like, okay, now I really have to even further hone in on why am I here? What am I doing? And so I graduated after interning there, I interned at a studio. I worked there for almost two years, I think at Fox Search light. Then I went to the Los Angeles Film Festival where I was working underneath the festival director, who was a woman, a mom, wife, and a full-time film producer. The festival was sort of a side gig. And that was really to learn from her. I wanted to be all of those things, . And so I wanted to learn from her how to do it, how to juggle it. And so that's where things probably start to get more interesting.

[00:10:33] meghan_houle: Hmm. I know. Ooh. A big juicy question, what was that major pivot in your career that you feel like really changed the trajectory of life? What was it, where did it land you? 

[00:10:44] codie: I would say the big, big pivot came after that, right? So I go to film school, I'm learning like what does it take to be a producer? What are all of the skills and the experiences and the mentors that I can take along with me. And there were sort of two pathways. Produce movies or tv, just like find projects, push them uphill, get somebody to pay for them and make them, or, , work with someone who makes movies and sort of be on their bandwagon in a good way.

Right? Like be their assistant or coordinator, whatever. And so I was doing both of those things, right? I'm developing, I'm optioning scripts, et cetera and I'm also sort of latching on to these amazing women that I worked for, sort of hoping that I could be on the journey with them and for various reasons that didn't happen, whether it's like, oh, they were working on projects with really tiny budgets or overseas and so it got to be very discouraging.

It got to be, really overwhelming it felt like nothing for me was hitting, was like going where it needed to go. And at that same time, while working at Film Independent, which is a non-profit that owns the Los Angeles Film Festival after working there for three years.

And again, simultaneously everything I just described, right? Working on these projects on the side and trying to work with my mentors. My father also, was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He lived in Texas and I was in Los Angeles and was very hopeful at first, But ultimately it was like, I want to be able to make money, which in the film business, it's a very hard thing to do early on.

I need more freedom, right? I wanna be able to travel home more and hustling the way I'm hustling. I'm not able to do those things. And I'm not able to be in Texas as much as I wanna be. . And also I was very discouraged already professionally, like, "Ugh, what's gonna be the thing?"

And so that was just a really difficult time full of what decisions, what pivots do I need to make to a) be happy and see truly tend to my family at that time? And so I decided to leave the business, right, to leave the film business, both with the goal of making actual money, cuz I had tons of skills, but in the industry that I was in, you know, they're just not gonna pay you a lot until reaching a certain level in film and tv. My focus was film though, so that's why I keep saying it. TV was not really a thought for me back then and so I left the business pivot one or big pivot and I started working for.

No, I didn't move. I didn't move. I was open to moving, but ultimately I took a job at a PR firm here in LA that had some, I did some film related things there, but I took a job at a PR firm because I knew I could have an actual salary and, oh wow. I'm like 27 at this point, I think. So it, it just, Like, I'm, I'm thinking I'm grown and I should be further along.

And so I take this job where I can have like an actual salary and just a little bit more comfort. And, and it was good. It was very positive, but my father passed away within six months of me being at that job. I guess I say that to say, I did what I needed to do at that time, and this company was really beautiful and wonderful in giving me the time away when I needed it. But the pivot, the reason that that pivot was so significant is not because I had led me to a career in pr. It was because I had an experience that grew me, that taught me new things, that gave me new relationships, that even taught me a different side, even though I had worked at CAA and learned so much from all the different departments there.

PR wasn't one of them. And so learning the inside of that sort of organization and then having the job that I had, which was being a publicist for Cannon who had launched a line of cinema cameras, led me to, So I'll give you the, here we go. So my father passed away again, he had cancer. So we knew that it was possible. This was not like a huge shock, but of course it was still very hard. My father passed away August, 2013. By September, 2013, I was back at work and we were at the Toronto Film Festival with Cannon, and my job was to meet filmmakers and assess their projects so Canon could give them free cameras for movies and projects. And I met Tommy Oliver, who was a filmmaker at the Toronto Film Festival, who ultimately we start dating right away and is now my husband. The reason all of this is important is because I would never have met him without the change that I made, without the pivot to the PR firm at Cannon and also what it did was we started our relationship, we start talking about Black Love, which is a project that had been on my heart for many years at that point. We convinced Cannon to give Tommy, who's a talented director and cinematographer a camera loan within a few months to make a documentary called Black Love, which you know, was mine. And, and that was the beginning of a lot of things,

[00:15:41] meghan_houle: So many things. Ah, I love it. And so many more juicy things. Well, thank you for sharing all of that. And gosh, all the learnings and those pivots and the continuing to show you the path and in my coaching practice where I work with a lot of people one on one a lot of what we do when we talk about, I talk about this in daily life too, is limiting beliefs and the fact as humans, we are so good at telling ourselves we can't do something or believing something that someone six years ago in a random conversation or your aunt's best friend's cousin told you about life and what you should be doing at Thanksgiving when you're 17. It's true I'm like, those things sit with us, Codie Right? I shouldn't be doing this, you know, or I should be doing this. And so in this podcast, I always ask a yes or no question, and then we go to a quick break. So like a little teaser. So I'm gonna drop one on you now to piggyback on this topic. So are you ready?

[00:16:34] codie: Mm-hmm.

[00:16:35] meghan_houle: Okay. So yes or no, was there anything you had to let go of to move forward within your own journey, be it life, career, belief, misconception, to be able to kind of get to a next level?

[00:16:49] codie: Absolutely.

[00:16:51] meghan_houle: Oh, okay. Good. Well that's an absolutely, And with that, we are gonna go to a quick break and we will pick this up when we get back.

[ MUSICAL BREAK] 

All right, Codie so at the break you said Absolutely. So tell us what did you feel you had to let go of to be able to move forward?

[00:17:05] codie: So I had to let go of my expectations, like every pivot that I described, right? I had to let go of any thought of am I failing at something by making a change. And then I also had to let go of even my parents' expectations. I would say overall, they were very supportive on all the changes that I made or just on my path, period overall, but there were certainly moments of like, "Girl, what are you doing?" Because it didn't look how it looked for them. I mean, we're talking about doctor and lawyer, the professions that you think of when you're five years old. It's like that and a fireman,

right? Like 

[00:17:44] meghan_houle: Mm-hmm.

[00:17:45] codie: It's still a process, right?

All these years later when I'm making new pivots and making new decisions about how I wanna live my life it's like, whose expectations am I holding onto? Because sometimes we have these things in our head and then we realize like, that's not even me. I don't actually care about that.

That's just something, like you said, that's just something that, you know, our auntie said, you know, over dinner when we were 17. Yeah, yeah. That, that you realize 

[00:18:13] meghan_houle: doing that.

[00:18:14] codie: is in your end, you're like, Why do I think Yeah.

[00:18:17] meghan_houle: I know it sits with us. And I also know these days, many of our listeners, we're looking for signs, right? To know when the timing is right to make a meaningful change. And I truly believe this, like we have to be in the driver's seat and be our own best advocates and superheroes, as the saying goes, like, no one's coming to rescue us from us.

And I find it so powerful when we can truly stand up and take control of our own path and journey, find the confidence and it's so magical to see people who are really doing what they love, like you pivoting to Black Love, and maybe this is the answer, but what was the point in your career journey where you just knew you were finally in alignment with that purpose in life?

[00:18:58] codie: For sure. It had to be definitely after Black Love premiered. I'm not saying like premier day one, you know, it had to be probably within a year. Not to say that I ever doubted it, on the first year journey, but I mean, seeing it unfold... so I'll give a little bit background cause I sort of said it, maybe assuming people know what Black Love is, but it started off as like a nugget for me, right?

It was looking at the way that black relationships, black marriage was described as in crisis in the media. Like literally there's a black marriage crisis and black people are getting divorced more often than other people, and black women are not desirable on these dating apps and such.

Like you're seeing these headlines and sure there's data in there that's like, Oh, okay, that's what they mean. But you see the headline and that's it. And that was happening and fast forward to me deciding or realizing that while we're being told what's not possible, whenever we see what is possible whenever we see Barack and Michelle Obama, and other couples that I admired from the film business, Gina Prince Bythewood and Reggie Bythewood and Mar and Selema Keel, people who like everyday folks don't really know who they are.

Like I'm inspired. But if they're not, if their stories aren't somewhere, then no one else can utilize them as a blueprint or even an inspiration piece. And so that's when I decided I wanted to create a place where black love stories live. And I knew that back in like 2008 and then when I met Tommy in 2013.

So there were certain things that I, you know, tried to do to push it along, but it was not a documentary in my mind. So when I met Tommy in 2013 and we decided to make it a documentary, 2013, start shooting in 2014, we license the series, then we go from doc to series, another pivot, we license the series to own in 2016, and then it still doesn't air until August of 2017.

So that's how long it was with me. That's how long I was working on it, with him. And then it premieres and we figured it would do well, right? Like there was so much warmth around it and people were very happy about it. but then we had live events and we got to see people in real life reacting to it and what it meant to them.

And that would be my answer to , when I knew I was living in my purpose, the impact was not just on me. It was on so many other people.

[00:21:25] meghan_houle: Like you said, like everyday people. how many times do we ever ask to , share our own stories or lives? It's so fascinating. I love watching it. The early on years of meeting people when you first meet, I didn't like you.

[00:21:36] codie: Yeah.

[00:21:37] meghan_houle: I just love it. And you fell love on the way too creating.

Thank you for sharing that inspiration, as you know, is definitely gonna dive into to that question. And I guess like the catalyst and bringing this show to life, like you said, it's been sitting with you and at any point it's just like we can do all the things, even if it's an idea, you know, 10 years plus in the making, Things don't happen overnight. Seeds for flower gardens, flowers don't come the next day. You know, it's all these things that we nurture. What can we expect from watching the show? What are some of the stories, Takeaways. 

[00:22:08] codie: One of the things I love about it, like I said, it was purely because we were told there's a narrative, in the news and entertainment, that portrays black people as anything but happy, loving husbands and wives and mothers and fathers, and I just wanted to show that side, right?

For, for the world to see, but for us to see and identify with it. If you didn't grow up in a happy home or whatever. And then I wanted it to be unapologetically black. I wanted to be able to talk about our Greek letter organizations and about our, fears, as a community, the things that directly impact us, systemic racism and are these things that like come up all the time in the show? No. But I wanted to be able to go there without having to overexplain anything. And so that's really the crux of the show. But then the other part is , it's just about what it takes to make a marriage work. because, nope, we're not trying to say that any of these relationships is perfect. We're not trying to say that any one thing can like doom a relationship, but that this is what it looks like when two people enter into a committed relationship. Marriage was important because this is an added level of commitment. We talked about like, should they be dating? Should they, can they be together for 30 years? We talked about that stuff, but we decided like the marriage piece was important because you've made a commitment before a lot of people, God, legally and we wanted to hear from folks who had made that commitment and what they were learning and how they were approaching, staying committed. And so that was important. And then what I also wanted to do, there's a lot of things I wanted to do and it sounds like a lot, but ultimately, like it was like this perfect easy approach. But the other thing I wanted to do is show that it doesn't always look how you expect it to look. We spend a lot of time making checklists about height and job and how much money somebody's making and what kind of parents they have, and yada, yada, yada, yada. And the reality is, folks who are in loving relationships don't always have that checklist fulfilled.

 They realize, Oh, that doesn't even matter, right? The way the person, how much they work out, that doesn't matter. Like this is what matters. In addition to how we meet. You know, especially as women, we expect it to be like he sees me, no, I see him, he sees me, he asks me for , my number, and then we fall in love and get married.

 There's so many stories that are way bumpier than that of people who are perfectly happy. And so I wanted to sort of dispel some myths and I guess release a lot of stigmas around finding your partner and keeping that partner. Right? And the boundaries that you have to set. And and the, and then what I learned or what became really clear was like the way that our preparation or lack thereof, plays into our relationships. We have these images that we idolize from our parents or from tv. We have these experience from the way we grew up, experiences that may be really bad. We may have unrealistic expectations. We may have daddy issues or mommy issues or whatever that we're bringing into our relationship.

And so ultimately all of that is what makes the show to me very universal. We did it to be unapologetically black, but it's about relationships and all of them are affected by this sort of thinking and these sorts of experiences from our childhood.

[00:25:31] meghan_houle: Yeah, that was so true. And how are you curating your guests? What was that process like in terms of finding people to come on the show?

[00:25:38] codie: The show was partially celebs and partially everyday people. And it was important because we wanted to show that celebs, as they say, they're just like us, but that really marriage and partnership is pretty universal. And so yeah, the only difference might be that somebody's famous and recognizable or that they might have more money, but you know, if they have all of that, they also probably work a lot.

And so just really thinking about all couples from the standpoint of , what are their challenges and how are they working through them? So, it was important to have that balance throughout. In doing the show for six seasons, we made sure that we did that , season after season and incorporated new themes as much as possible.

And the show kind of grew with us because we were engaged when we started filming it. And then we were married and then we had one child, and then we had three. And so as we began to evolve in our relationship and our experiences, so did the guests and the questions that we were able to ask and our understanding that our brand needed to be much more than romantic love and marriage.

Which is why we launched all the other components of Black Love.

[00:26:44] meghan_houle: What have been some of your biggest challenges with creating the show or on the journey to create and how did you overcome them?

[00:26:51] codie: The show was very challenging. We aired the final season this past summer, summer 2022. And so, for a lot of reasons. One is really just wanting to quit while we're ahead, right? Wanting to end in a place where people remember it as a beautiful thing.

 And then the other was one of our biggest challenges was also one of our greatest gifts. So Tommy and I shot the show, just the two of us. I booked all the guests, all the couples, and I did that because I wanted to start a personal relationship as early as possible. We didn't deal with, managers and publicists as much as possible, we would go directly to a person even if somebody was Viola Davis.

Tommy met her in a parking lot, her and her husband, and we communicated with them directly there. It wasn't through agents. And the idea was like, I'm Codie you're Viola. I'm just using her as an example. We're just a couple who wants to succeed and you guys are a couple that is being successful and this is not an interview for your movie or your upcoming book or whatever else it is. This is just a conversation. And so I was very hands on with our talent and then Tommy and I shot every interview, just the two of us. He was the cinematographer lighting. I set up the mic like everything, so that we could create an intimate space so that there's not a PA in the corner staring at the couple talking it's just two couples sitting down having a conversation. 

[00:28:09] meghan_houle: Feeling comfortable. 

Yeah.

[00:28:11] codie: And so that ultimately was a very big challenge as we began to grow in our, lives. We have three kids now as we began to grow professionally. Tommy has a production company that has been growing rapidly and was directing. He still is, but he directed, I think, two movies over the course of this Black Love experience and all of it. Juggling all of that and the children that was our greatest challenge.

[00:28:38] meghan_houle: But you did it right where you're here wrapped it up six seasons. Like you said, what was your biggest takeaway from these past six seasons of Black Love? what are you really proud of? What did you learn?

[00:28:49] codie: Yeah, well alongside the docu-series. So we launched the docu-series in 2017 on OWN and we've licensed it to several other distributors so you can watch on Discovery Plus and Hulu and, I'm forgetting many, but 

[00:29:00] meghan_houle: All of our streaming channels, Yes.

[00:29:03] codie: So we licensed the series, the show launched in 2017.

And we do our own marketing because we licensed the show OWN does not own it. So they don't do any marketing for the show. So there was a need for us to make it successful. To make sure that people knew it existed. Right. And we launched the Black Love summit. One year after the show. So 2018 alongside blacklove.com.

I say this to say that that was the beginning, the launch was the beginning of the greater brand and the way that all of these things tie together is that we celebrate 360 degrees of Black Love. So romantic dating and partnership, parenthood, self love, community love, for the purpose of, as I mentioned earlier, we show up in our romantic relationships as our experiences of all of these different examples of love, whatever our parents, however, our relationship is with our parents and our siblings and with ourself is what we're bringing to the table and our romantic relationships.

And so we can't really have conversations about like partnership and love and dating without having conversations about baggage and healing.

[00:30:14] meghan_houle: I hear that. Mm-hmm.

[00:30:15] codie: I would say, that is something I felt like I knew beforehand, but truly couldn't have understood it as fully as I do now without probably my own marriage, but also without talking to so many couples and seeing that through line of very early on well my mom used to make my dad a dinner and his drink was ready at five o'clock when he came home every day.

And now I'm mad at my wife cuz she don't do that.

[00:30:40] meghan_houle: Right.

[00:30:40] codie: Your mom's not your wife. And

[00:30:42] meghan_houle: Right.

[00:30:43] codie: was 30 years ago!

You know, 

[00:30:45] meghan_houle: Yeah. Yes.

[00:30:46] codie: So realizing, and that's, you know, a silly example, but that

still, that extends to other

[00:30:52] meghan_houle: I feel that and see that even in my own marriage too. I mean, very different upbringings between me and my husband. And very early on, Codie I had checked myself a few times, a kid coming me from divorced parents. A lot of drama.

Lot of drama. But here we are with my husband, like the sparkly, like married for 35 plus years. Mom, sweetest pie.

[00:31:16] codie: Yeah.

[00:31:16] meghan_houle: Does anything for anybody. You know, and he was just very well taken care of as the baby. Oh God. And I'm the oldest, so God bless us. . I'm like the, the fearless leader. He's such a caretaker and I think he gets that from his mom.

And I think that's why we are such a good match, because I am the emotional fiery one and he does not at all get that way or emotional, doesn't scream, doesn't do that. So it's like finding that balance, but you know, certainly appreciating what we both bring to the table. But it's, it's such, that's such a cool statement that you really put out there.

Cause I think a lot of people getting into relationships, like not easy and it's not easy these days. And Covid really worked us all. 

[00:31:59] codie: Yeah, Yeah, 

[00:32:00] meghan_houle: In so many ways, you know, so, 

[00:32:02] codie: And it's, and with social media, it's that much harder because even when we started, like that was a thing, but it wasn't what it is today. And so now all we're doing is looking at other people's highs and trying to compare our life to it. And that's, that's

[00:32:17] meghan_houle: The highlight reel is what I call it. You know, the life highlight reel. What are you most excited, excited for looking into the future of Black Love and all that you're looking to build within your own media company? What's next? 

[00:32:30] codie: You know, I mean, look, personally I'm excited for having a little bit more time to give to the overall, right? All those things I just mentioned, you know, self love and, and community and health and wellness, all of that is such a big part of why I'm still in this thing. And but I was so beholden to the show and everything I gave to it that I'm looking forward to truly being able to take a step back and give of myself and my vision to these other parts, and having people receive that, right? I think my brand, my life is about impact and legacy being how I can help others and myself child I'm not perfect. I'm on this journey too, and so I look at it as, everything that I learn, I've always felt this way, like all the way back to like college, USCs film school, everything I have ever done. If I have information, like I want you to have it too.

[00:33:26] meghan_houle: To share 

[00:33:27] codie: So I look at Black Love the brand the same way, right?

As I'm learning about therapy, as I'm learning about how our, mental health plays into our relationships and how, as I'm learning about these things, I wanna be able to give that information to everyone.

[00:33:43] meghan_houle: Oh, so beautiful. You stole my question. I was gonna ask you what would you like your legacy to be? But you already answered it, Codie So

[00:33:50] codie: Yes. 

[00:33:51] meghan_houle: But anything else be, I mean there's a lot that that's gonna be coming up and I'm so excited to see, but that was so beautifully said. But anything else you wanna kind of piggyback on in terms of your big picture legacy further?

[00:34:05] codie: I'm seeing a shift overall in the way we, as humans are observing our mental health and mental and physical health and wanting to do better. I think there's still like a want, but I'm, I don't know how to take those steps and, or those steps are very hard so I'm good. I'm gonna eat this pizza and not go to therapy and it's fine. But I think, I think there is a shift and I'm, and I'm excited that there's more conversation around truly setting boundaries. And if some of it is dark, some of it is, it's over the top right. But I'm glad that the conversation is happening and I'm grateful to be a part of it. And so I just want better for us to it is hard at times. And so, and as such, especially in a place like this, right? Pivoting with Purpose as such, I hope that people give themselves grace.

[00:34:56] meghan_houle: Mm-hmm.

[00:34:56] codie: We're all learning what's best for us, and then we're all learning how to take the steps toward what's best for us.

And it's not always easy.

[00:35:05] meghan_houle: Right. Well, and you share so many beautiful examples. You kind of, did you give my question sheet? My next question you already answered before I let you go, but you know, I'm just kidding. You're. You're psychic. You're also psychic. Okay. That's awesome now, what other advice maybe would you give to somebody listening in that has just heard your beautiful story and so much more to do, but you know, someone facing a challenge or pivot or a major life decision? What advice would you give somebody right now if they're facing a big challenge?

[00:35:35] codie: My first thought is trust yourself and then even with that, which can be really hard I think someone asked me something like, what would I tell my younger self? Or something like that, which really is like... 

[00:35:47] meghan_houle: mm-hmm.

[00:35:48] codie: It's, it's that like you're okay where you are. I think that I was frustrated early on with not accomplishing X, Y, and Z, which maybe some of that frustration is like a healthy way of putting a fire under yourself, but just not to judge yourself so much. And so in that, and releasing that judgment allows you to trust, allows you to trust that , I'm making the absolute best decisions I can right now and that they're gonna serve me one way or the other. They're gonna serve me by allowing me to like, really learn even if I fail or they're gonna serve me by propelling me forward in the ways that I want them to.

But to truly give yourself that grace and trust yourself.

[00:36:27] meghan_houle: And don't listen to what someone told you when you were 17

[00:36:30] codie: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

[00:36:32] meghan_houle: And know that seeds and thoughts and visions you have from years ago, you can bring them to life. You just have to be brave and you just have to start and trust such so beautifully said. Thank you so much for sharing that. And so where can our listeners find and engage with you?

[00:36:48] codie: All of that, all of that. I am currently the host of two podcasts,

[00:36:53] meghan_houle: Yes.

[00:36:54] codie: My New BFF and The Mamas Den, where I'm a co-host. We talk about motherhood and sisterhood. And then, please follow Black Love, not just the Instagram page, Black love.com, but like our activities, you know, we have live events.

And I'm @codieco. If anyone's interested in my, basically my children on Instagram.

[00:37:11] meghan_houle: Oh yes, we're all interested and we're gonna link everything and get ready.

[00:37:15] codie: Okay. I'll take it. I'll take it. Yeah,

[00:37:18] meghan_houle: I I love it. Well, thank you so much. For being on my podcast, which is something I just through out there in the pandemic. I'm gonna also tell people stories Codie. 

So one storyteller to another, thank you for being here.

And I just have loved hearing your story and I know you will inspire our listeners to, find their own meaningful life pivots and even maybe from turning into the show, learning about their own love or life or find true love. So I look forward to seeing all that is to come for you. So thank you so much.

[00:37:48] codie: Thank you. 

Pivot with Purpose with host Meghan Houle is a Fashion Cons production, and part of the FC Podcast network. It is produced and directed by Phil aka Corinne. And a special thank you to Spencer Powell for our theme music. Learn more at pivotwithpurpose podcast.com. And be sure to follow us on Instagram               @pivotwithpurpose_podcast.