Pivot With Purpose Season 6 Episode 7 Melissa Valdez Full Transcript

Hello, and welcome to the pivot of purpose podcasts live. I'm so excited to be coming to you from my place in Boston with the most beautiful and incredible soul. Melissa Valdez, thank you so much for being here with us today.

It is a pleasure to be in your presence and in conversation. You look beautiful. I love this gold.

My Golden Globes,

you're giving everything?

Okay, we are. But But no, I have to say, you coming into my world, even in this like short time we went together, I feel like I'm already like, changed from an inspirational point of view of just all that you do and how you put yourself out there, and how courageous and inspiring you are. And I know you have so many really, really exciting career pivots that I can't wait to like dive into. But as we get started, tell us a little bit about where we're catching Melissa today, like what are you up to? What are you doing? What do you like, tell us all about you.

Thank you so much. I'm also very inspired by you. So this is this is great. Appreciate that. Yeah, as you know, I am an entertainment host. And you know, when I say entertainment, horses, all things of culture, empowerment, fashion, community sports, you know, as you know, I'm also the inner renal host for the Boston Celtics. So shout outs to this. Hopefully we get that that championship this year, we're excited. And so on the mic is like my main thing, I love to utilize my voice to bring energy to spaces to hype people up and just have fun. You know, I'm also a movement coach, someone I am not on the mic. You know, I come from a dance background. So I love dance. And so when I say movement coach, I decided to really go by that title now because it describes a lot of different things. You know, I'm also have been in the fitness industry for a couple of years now. So that's exciting to be able to use body and movement for for health and wellness. Yeah, and then, um, you know, for my dancing background, I'm also a dance instructor now. So I do a lot of private classes. And combining also Dance and Fitness is really exciting. But my thing is, like, what my mission is to encourage people to utilize their body and just movement in their most authentic self like doesn't matter what experience you have just like just just move and let it flow and connect not only with the music, but within yourselves as well.

Yeah, and I love that. And I know you teach some classes and you're you still you're teaching around Boston

Yeah. Right for a while, but I'm getting back into it right now as far as fitness. Yeah, and I do teach at a couple of places but I've always done private one on one classes with folks and I love my favorite thing is to like, help somebody boost their confidence. Yeah, I love to see a person that may be scared to like, take a two step and then seeing them develop and finally like letting that inner superstar come out. And

I love dancing so much. Growing up as a kid and dance tap and jazz. The fearlessness the sequence out Yeah. The little skirts? Yeah, I think those are what like the blackmail pictures that your mom you know, in your home, you're like, can we burn this photo?

I'm sure you look super cute. I want to see

you I have I have it on my phone. We're gonna look at it later. But I think there's there is so much like beautiful power and movement. I I feel like early on in life as a kid like, we are so fearless, right? And then the world tells us otherwise at some point where I think we're people in terms of dance and like moving your body in a very, like beautiful, natural way. Like obviously, there's all these amazing, like fitness classes and you know, oh, go hard, go hard. But I just feel like there's this like also like softness moment that we're having right now with like a feminine energy. Yeah, where people are like finding their flow. And I think to show up and be in a vulnerable space where dance can feel very vulnerable for people to have a platform where you can just move your body. Yeah, and it is to your body, not like a hard treadmill or running or like going crazy on a bike, which we like all love. But I love that you do that. And I feel like we need more of that. So that's really cool.

That's really important. And I agree that we are definitely in our soccer era right now. We're just like, I'm really trying to the more I write, the more the older that I get just in general, I just want things to feel good. And when I am leading a class, that is the message that I'm that I'm bringing, you know, I want you to just go in there. Fear less. It's a judgment free zone, you know, just move your body. No one's here to judge just like just just not be scared. No.

And I bet too, and that I mean in in all that you do. I feel like there's such community building that goes on to because I have to imagine for your classes. Just like any routine. There's the same people that show there's like friendships created in there. And it's just it's so beautiful all

around. Yeah, because everybody is, you know, inspiring one another. Yeah, yeah, definitely.

So tell us early on, is what you thought you'd be doing what you're doing today. Like talk about early. Yeah, yes,

I'm no So I'll start where I'm at now and then take it back because it has been a long journey. And when I think about what my journey has been, to this moment, it's like, I knew that I was going to be doing something in the entertainment world, maybe I wasn't too sure when I was younger, or I did, I don't know. But right now, I've only been hosting for the past five years. So this is a passion that I developed later on. But a lot of the things that I did early on in my life, you know, have prepared me for this moment. So you know, I'm Dominican, and I come from an artistic family, you know, the Caribbean is full of music, art dance. And so just performing arts is a really big part of our culture. And so when I was young, I was always involved in like the drama club or, you know, dancing you know, we talked about that was like with my, with my sister in the basement, recording on like a boombox with a cassette acting like a radio show as, like, me and my friends will be like making up a dance and like our living room, or the kitchen or something. So it was like, I was always involved in something of entertainment. And one point I wanted to be a singer, but that was a phase. Like the dancing better. And then when I was, you know, after became an adult, I decided to take on dance as a profession, started going on auditions, and, you know, started booking gigs. And that was a really fun time in my life when it was like MTV was around and, you know, did you ever get on MTV? On charges? Unfortunately, unfortunately, not being you missed out. Fortunately, not but oh my god, MTV. Yeah. It's like a dream. Yeah. Like if I ever got on MTV. I'm manifesting this manifesting. Yeah, it's just like, you know, like the VJ phase. Yes.

No, I mean, when we're talking or like, like, totally quest live, like no shows that you'd like rush back home from like, did you watch MTV all the time? All the

time? MTBE. t want to take some far? Yeah, like, yeah, all at once, when TV was fun, when like music videos were around, oh, my God, it's such a fun time. So dance was a big part of my early life. And, you know, I got to experience a lot of different great things through my talent, you know, I got to travel the world to different places. So it's like, I've always been so grateful that I've been able to do that, utilizing my God given talents, you know what I mean? Because I probably would not have been able to have that opportunity. And so highlights like, you know, I booked a tour with like Elvis Costello, which is an incredible global artists, you know, he's like a legend. And when I booked the gig with him, I actually didn't know who he was, because it's not my typical genre of music that I listened to, but I learned how to appreciate who he was as an artist, you know, very grateful for the opportunity that I was given that they took me in, and I got to, like, travel the world with him. And so you know, being on stage, in front of 1000s of people, you know, putting on stage makeup, the state, you know, costumes and, you know, performing in different places and venues that really taught me and prepared me how to, like, just be an entertainer. Yeah, be an entertainer. And so I knew how to do that a lot. And just, you know, like, I just learned so much from so many different opportunities. And then that really helped now, as a, as a presenter, as a host of showing up, you know, for me, anytime that I have a mic on, I feel like I'm performing. Like just being in front of the camera. Like, I feel like I'm performing. So I already know how to turn that off. Yeah,

where where do you feel you found the confidence? Or like, what is something in your routine where you like, tap into that confidence? Because we talk about all the time, you know, finding confidence, whether you're pitching yourself, you're on a stage you're interviewing, you know, for some, it doesn't come natural. Yeah. And even for the people that maybe have that natural talent, it's also something we have to work on. Totally. Right. So like, what what are some of your, like, insider tip routines? Or like, how did you harness that confidence? Have you always felt just like super confident? Like, I

might not always not always but yeah, thank you. I know, it is a lie. It's something that that I built, you know, luckily, like my mom has always, like taught me to just like, go in there and like she's, she's my rock. And I've always looked up to her because she's always been a hard working woman that has just shown me that you walk into a room and you own it from the minute you go in there. And so I read that always stuck with me not to say that I wasn't nervous before I went into the room not to say that I didn't have anxiety, not to say that I

probably wouldn't hear Right, right. When

I walked in there, I knew that I needed to like get into this mindset of you're gonna get this right and it wasn't always yeses. I learned how to you know, take nose and rejection was tough. So you know, all these different experiences helped me grow and built me for who I am today. So even now, with hosting which is something quote fairly new. You know, even when that helped me a lot from like experiences in the past. I've just been like, doing group fitness and talking to large crowds and stuff and like me, giving confidence of other people and people gravitating towards that and me being able to actually We see the growth in people. That gives me the confidence and it's like, oh, you're actually doing a good job. Yeah, you know, so even now, you know, little tips are like before I go out onto any stages and have to hold a mic, you know, I'm getting my like, I'm mentally like preparing myself, you know, it's like, a mental and like a physical like zone that you go into. And I need my time to just sort of like, take a deep bright pray and I'm really big on just like, transforming myself before I have to like, perform. Yeah, and I find that that helps me out a lot. Yeah,

and I feel like to especially what you're doing the Celtics? Like, you give so much energy but I have to imagine to like the energy that's coming in around you. It must be like so electric. Yeah, I feel a lot. Right. But then you also have to control that. Yeah. Because I feel like that's like adrenaline building itself where you are like a cool calm cucumber. So yeah, the goals actual Meghan whole goals is right here, everybody. Yeah,

it took a lot of energy, to just I think, in general, when you get to run a lot of people, you have to like, yeah, there's a, there's a lot that's taken out of you, right. But that's what we do what we do, right? It's like, if you're not, if you're not outgoing, if you don't have a personality, if you're not charismatic, then then that's not the job for you. Right? That and that's, there's nothing wrong with that. But you know, you have to be able to, you have to, you have to know how to control their energies, just as you said, you have to know how to respond and be able to, you know, receive and return the energy. But then when those lights go off when you go home, it's like, right, yeah.

I think I wouldn't be in silence for like five days, just

a moment. So first of all, give gratitude that giving gratitude is really really important. Just general, my grateful of life. So I need a moment to just let it and then.

And here we are today. Exactly like a busy you know, when Thank you. What would you say has been like one of your most pivotal moments in your career that maybe has really shaped like what you're doing now? Is there anything that stands out for you? Yeah,

yeah. I mean, I mean, oh, my God, we go through so many pivots. I laugh right. But, obviously, yeah, I think I've, I've been in like different stages of my life and leading up to now. And they've all been really exciting every moment of my career from when I was young, to the next opportunity, being in group fitness, you know, and helping, you know, develop a boutique brand and making an impact there. You know, I was with a boutique brand for six years. And then I, I did I did a transition, you know, after six years and really dedicated myself to wanting to pursue my hosting passion. Yeah. Full on. Yeah, full on. I said, You know what, I'm gonna give it all my energy to this dream. Because it needs it requires my full attention. Yeah. And so you know, when you make these big career pivots is scary. It's scary. So I remember like, Okay, if this is what you're gonna do, you got to go in with intention. I had already, like, understood why were some of the things. Hi, I want to like, roll right how I want to like, like, what is the type of environment that I want to be in? What are the things that I like? What are the things that I don't like? And obviously, we learn new things every single day. But when I said, Okay, this is what you're gonna do. I'm not getting any younger. Right? Right. Like it is. I'm at a point right now, where it's like, there is no room for failure, even though like, whatever, like it happened, but like, that is the type of mindset that I decided to go into this next phase of my life where I am at right now. So I'm like, my website. Yeah, I'm gonna, like, really seek a village. I'm gonna really like try to be the best that I can be. Because what's what's the point? If you're not gonna go full full? Me? Yeah.

And I feel like so many people are navigating so many things in synergy. But I've learned this lesson, you know, developing my own businesses over the past few years. It's like, you can't be everything to everyone totally. And I feel like that's where burnout comes in, you know, especially if you're in a job or in a business or a brand where there's like, misalignment and you're not showing up authentically, what you're saying. And I mean, what's there a big a juicy question for, you know, for everyone watching? Was there a big point in your life where you're like, this job isn't serving me? Like, was there a moment where you truly had your pivot with purpose where you're like, I couldn't do this, but it's not serving me and I gotta go. And it was like a big risk. Yeah,

I might have probably experienced that a lot of times. Yeah. Honest. Because as a creative and an artist, you know, I've always had to have some type of like, daytime job, I real jobs. Because I have bills. I have to you know, like, I need money. So being in the entertainment world, nothing's consistent yet. Nothing is. You noticed that, but like, you know, so I've always been like hopping around and stuff and I've taken risks I try and new things and companies and things like that. And it's like, I'm the type of person I will go into something that I really believe in, and I will give it my all. And I will try my best. But if it gets to a point where it's no longer serving me, yeah, and it's starting to, like, mentally affect me and like, I'm like, deciding this is not the time for me. But when I've made those, just those decisions, it's always been for something better. And so I've been like really lucky that I've gotten the opportunity, because not everybody has that. And that can be really difficult to get out of something that you really do enjoy. And it's not serving you in the trying to figure out, well, what's next. But I've been blessed that I did get that opportunity that I had something else that I can fall back on, where maybe it wasn't fully, like flourished, but I knew that it had potential to beat something. So yeah, and I'm at a point in my life, like I said, I'm just like, if it doesn't mentally serve me, I don't want chaos, I want it to feel good. And things are not always gonna feel perfect now, but I just, I just want things to be on my time, no,

100%. And I feel like within that pivot, I have to imagine like this opportunity that has brought you to where you are today is because you are putting yourself out there and doing the things. And yes, I mean, we feel grateful and blessed and lucky. But I also feel like the messaging of who you are, and like what you're capable of how to be crystal clear, I tell people all the time that want to do these big pivots. I'm like, does anybody know what you do? Are you talking about it? Or are you talking about your goals and sharing it in a network of people that can respect and appreciate and say your name and tunity? So did you feel like you got that opportunity? Where there is this like network around you? That was like, Okay, we know, Melissa? Like, we're gonna like, you know, call her up for this? Or like, how did you navigate like being seen?

Yeah, reputation is really important. Just how you show up in places, no matter if you're doing something big or small. Yeah, if you walk into a place where respect, and you carry yourself a respect, and you do a good job, and you treat people kind, people will always remember you by that, okay, even if you're the smallest person in the room, you don't have to be, you know, the star of the world. Like, if you treat somebody nice, and if you leave an impact, they will always remember you. Yeah. And that's something that I've always a big part of who I am ever since I was young, I tried to walk into spaces, do the job, you know, leave a good energy behind. And folks just always remember that. That's just how I am meeting anybody, you know. So I think that that's something that has always, you know, followed me around, which is great. And I've been really lucky. And that there are people who have truly believed in me, and in different phases of my life who have been, hey, I know this person, because I trust her. And I know that if I recommend her, she's gonna go and do a good job. And I could confidently say that, you know, and it's something that you have to really work on. People always remember bad impressions. People will always remember when you you're not nice, right? Or

not doing something for them. Exactly. Yeah. So all

these it could go so many different ways. But um, yeah, definitely helped me, you know, and I think that, um, like you mentioned, defining what it is that you want to do. Because if you're trying to do too many things, people don't know where to like, or how to recommend you. Like, I know that like hosting is like the number one thing for me right now. And that is what I'm carrying myself with, yes, people already know that I come from a dancing background, because I did that for many years. Yeah, I understand. But like, even with dancing, now, you know, I'm not trying to dance to be a backup dancer anymore, or, you know, the, you know, the auditioning, but when it comes to empowering people, and you know, helping you move and coaching you to be your best self through your own authenticity, that is aligns very much with my brand right now. And so, yeah, they know, I'm a host, and they're gonna recommend me for things but yeah, yeah.

Well, you're walking personal brands, I feel like you know, especially as like women and business and running our own businesses, like, sure, I think when you're a part of a company to you know, there's a moment where you represent whatever you're doing and but it's like your reputation, but we also can divide, like, work Melissa, and then Melissa, like out and about, but in the centerpiece of that is like authenticity, and like what people remember you for and I 100% agree. And I think even with some of the biggest jobs that people are out there interviewing for and people get so hung up on, oh, I have to imperfect resume and I have to line up, people are going to hire you for your soft skills, right for your teamwork, collaboration for your personality. You know, like, you can look amazing on paper, and I'm sure you've seen it too when you can or go into an audition, but you're not the vibe of that company, or you're not the vibe of that brands and like it's okay, I mean, I feel like and you were talking about before, like the rejection. Yeah, feeling frustrated, like I'm sure you had to deal with that. Like, how did you know Worcester syndrome

is real? We will, you know, have felt like we didn't belong somewhere. Yes. You know, and it's something that we have to like, conquer because it's tough. Yeah. Tough. Yeah.

How did you deal with rejection early on in your career? Do you feel like you heard a lot of nose because people like are like, Oh, she's so lucky. Everything just works out. That is not the case. People this takes years.

And everybody knows me personally knows that I've been working since I was 14 years old. Yeah, I've always had multiple jobs and like hard work, Julie, because of where I come from, you know, I'm an immigrant, like, my mom brought us to this country and work multiple jobs, to make sure that me and my brother had food on the table that we have clothes on our body. So that, to me has always been, like, my example of what work ethics is. So I've been grinding since I was really young. But like, you know, as you get older, you start to understand, like, what it is that you want, you know, you start to define what your dream is, and you start like focusing on certain lanes and whatnot, but it takes a lot of work, you know? Yeah, you know, you hear nose, hey, you might you might not be my look is not for everybody, right? Especially. So this is something that I've had to deal with, because I was very young, even when I was working corporate jobs of, you know, folks not fully accepting my image of big hair, you know, and like putting on a suit having to put on a bun, right, you know. And so, all these things, I've experienced all these different things that finally got me to a point where it's just, it was just, I want to just be myself, I know that I'm skilled in many different things. And I could do the job as good as this person that may be wearing a suit. Or that looks different. You know, that or that may not be my ethnicity. I know that I could do the job as well, or maybe even better as this person. And I want to walk into spaces and be accepted for that. Right. But that took a while. You know what I mean? You have to accept the rejection. Yeah. And understand what it feels to be low. Yeah, to be able to get up here. Yeah.

Well, I know you've mentor and are such a big part of inspiring others, like, Who do you feel like has inspired you or been on this journey with you? Or multiple people? Or who should people look for mentors? Like, let's talk about like that, that? Yeah, once I have your back, right.

First of all, I really didn't learn about mentorship until I became like an adult. I'll be real when I was younger, maybe it's just a culture. Yeah. Like when I was younger, my was still my hair was my mom. Like, I didn't have like somebody who wasn't my parents, that I can go and speak to and inspired me. Yeah, I like my substances at the time that I thought were so cool, because they were older than me and stuff, or like people that I admire. But no one who really ever guided me and told me, Hey, you should do things this way. And so I learned about mentorship after I was older, where I was learning about different spaces and industries and whatnot. And I really learned the importance of that, like, it is really important to have people in your circle that you look up to people that can inspire you to be your best. So even like, through the different stages of my life, there have been different people that have inspired me in different ways. Yeah, from my best friends of when I was high school, to them moving away from home, which was Orlando, Florida, back to Massachusetts, and being in Boston. And, you know, meeting new people here after I started, like, sitting here and then taking people, you know, being surrounded by people who believed in me and would always like, push me to do better and like, No, you should do this in that way or not. So even just like friends right now, I'm also very intentional, specifically now, being in my late 30s, and stuff like that. Every person that's in my inner circle plays a role I like.

It's like your personal board of draft. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I

love that. Everybody plays an important role. And I want to be inspired by you through some way, like my, I have a lot of different communities, a lot of different communities that I don't need to necessarily all bring together. Like, I'm gonna be here sitting with you. And I'm so inspired by the work that you do so honored, that everybody brings something different, because just so important to have people that are going to be pushing you because it could get really lonely out

here. 100% Well, thank you so much for sharing, you know, all your insights and mentorship. And I love that your mom is a big influence in your life. Mine was the same, you know, growing up in a family divorced parents and like, you know, I think there are some people that just don't have that. So I think it's beautiful. You know, anything

else that I've learned in the past couple of years is don't be afraid to speak to people. If there's someone that you admire, or you know, send them a message, grab some coffee from Yeah, I might do that all the time. Yeah. You know, hey, I just want to learn more about you know, I really love the work that you do, like, reach out to people. Yes, closed mouths don't get

fed now, or what have you learned the most about yourself in this journey of pivoting?

What have I learned the most? Wow, some many different things. I've learned that I am enough, I learned that I could, I'd have the ability to do the things that I want that could really set myself up for greatness. I learned that everything doesn't have to be rushed. You know, there was one time in my life where everything was so rushed. It was like we want to reach all these goals and do all these things. But it's like we're not sitting down and actually like, just taking a moment to be with ourselves and if you're not mentally okay, you're always running around anxious, doesn't always work out that way. I'm speaking to

my soul earlier and your messages for Mega. Like, we

want to do all these things. Yeah, so I just learned that it's okay to take a break. Thank you Please be wouldn't steal. Because sometimes I don't know how to be. So I'm gonna I had to learn that a lot. Yeah, yeah,

yeah. And I feel like in moments, especially when you're super creative, and you know, you get all these ideas that come up and I'm the same, you know, I will laugh with people in my circle and coaches I work with like, I'll say something and I'm going to do it. But like it's not happening overnight. Right. And sometimes you have the Megane whole clock, and then the clock, everyone else follows. But I do feel like when something feels forced or rushed, the final outcome is not going to be what you want, right?

That feeling, I do not want that feeling. There's nothing better than just letting them be organic, knowing you took your time knowing that you put in, you know, just like the good energy, and that comes out exactly how you envision that, but I don't like the chaos.

Okay, that's why I when I was writing this question, I was like, Oh, this is probably the best person to ask this to the pressures of showing up. I mean, you are such a public figure, let's be honest. Okay. between your classes, you're on the south tanks are in front of 30. You know, 20 30,000 people. You're not motivated every day, right? Like, I'm ready to go. But I do feel like also there's pressures. And God bless those people. Because like, I feel like some people are like that. Not me, either. I need always like three hours in the morning. Yeah, I've like, let me just like wake up, and then I'll give you a little chat. But I think that when you feel like you're in a position, or there's a moment where you like, always have to be on what motivates you on the days where you're like, not feeling amazing, or like how also do you deal with those pressures? Because like, we were talking about you like, we're always our walking personal brands. Yeah. Sure. People see you on the streets. Or just your classes, and you're like, I don't wanna talk to anybody. Please don't find me. No pictures, please. No, but like, how do you how do you handle the pressures? And then like, how do you show up for yourself so you can show up for other people?

No, that's, that's all real, that's all real because it just takes a lot of energy takes a lot of energy out of you receive a lot of energy. So you have to like this, there needs to be a balance. There are some days you know, when I don't have I'm not booked for stuff that I love, I love to be home, I want to have days, I don't want to have to put on 20 pounds of stage makeup on. I want to put my hair up in a bun, I want to be in my cozy baths Rob, on my couch watching Netflix love his blindness on like, trash reality TV, that's my guilty pleasure. I just at home, were watching some documentary. Turns out they because we need to shut that I just want to be home and not have to speak to too many people, you know what I mean? And it's like, on days that I don't feel that motivate. I also like to give myself the space to just be, you know, sometimes like, oh, man, I should really go to the gym today on my day off, but like, I'm tired. I'm tired. Mentally, physically. So it's like, I just want I just want to sleep. And that's okay. But I may, you know, like, I want to give myself those couple hours to start my day where I'm a morning person. So I wake up automatically, my audit log is like, I'm already up at like, six 7am. And I was like, you don't have to be up this early. Because I'm like running, cleaning my home getting organized for the next thing. And it's like, sometimes you just have to let yourself just be you know, so if I do give myself time in the morning, for example, starting a day where I'm just not as motivated, then I like to at least make up with four in the afternoon, whether that's like, let me go take a walk around the neighborhood and just go outside and smell fresh air. Let me turn on a good song that I like, if I am going to stay home, you know, call a friend that cheers you up I think is really important to have that village. Sometimes I'll call my mom and we're just like talking shit on the phone all day or whatever, or like one of my friends and we're sending each other voice notes. But like you got to find the thing that sort of like lifts you up? Or maybe you want to order the like, there's nothing that could be perfect, but just let yourself be

Yeah, no. And I think that that is such a great message and also reminders in a society where you know, coming out like your, for the pandemic, or so, we were so forced to like, be still. And that was so hard for so many of us at work, go go go. I think there was great lessons learned and I think I think we're more vocal about that self awareness. We have like the boundaries and saying no, but I also feel like that now we're back in this like, I gotta do all the things I gotta be the most productive. You know, even I catch myself sitting on the days where I'm like, I just wanna lay on the couch or watch like Sex in the City or something like Mega and like go workout. We're gonna do this but like, you need to recharge. Yeah, and I don't think we can show up our best out there if we're not our best in here, right. Thank you. Everyone. You can relax. That's right. We can all you're allowed to

read All right.

Oh my gosh. Well, speaking of boundaries, how do you feel like your boundaries have changed as your career has progressed and just like where you are now, oh,

my god boundaries everywhere boundaries, capital letter boundaries back

back with some sequins word boundaries

everywhere is has been applied. Because when you have boundaries, even just just in your personal life that you know, all that affects your career and stuff. So even I started adding boundaries in my career, I want to show up in places I want to just live my life to feel better with friends or people that I know everything has boundaries. Very, very important for me. And even boundaries in the career space. You know, like even thinking about now where I am at in my career, there are certain things that I no longer you know, I'm available for or should be doing. And also I think about if I'm aiming for a certain goal and from aiming for certain things I don't always have to be involved in everything does not fit me anymore. Yeah. Boundaries of how I want to show up getting hired by something. Okay. You know, like, you have to give yourself that importance if you want people to take you serious, I think is really important. So yeah, yeah, boundaries are so important, I think. I mean, I think about all the different things I've just even like, like, like self care, you know, lots of boundaries. I don't like to do things this past a certain time. Not because I don't want to do it. But like, you know, I like my sleep. Yeah. There's a certain image that I also want to uphold. That's me. So like boundaries of No, I don't want to become this. I want to still be this and just so many different moments and yeah, occasions. Yeah.

Well, I think boundaries are so crossed with us feeling also, if we are not saying yes to everything in life, like we're gonna miss out. But I mean, I'm sure you experienced like, saying yes to a lot and then feeling misaligned. Or you're showing up somewhere and you're like super frustrated, like, why am I here? That where we're not going to miss out the things not to be cliche that are meant for us are always going to find us in the messy like, the world doesn't know what we're doing. Like when we start to maybe say no to we learn from the bad experience, right? And let along the way, and I'm sure you have like you're gonna disappoint people. You're we're not for everybody. We can't, we can't make everybody happy all the time. But I think it's also like, feeling if we're letting other people down, and then letting ourselves down. But then those people you have to like teach people how to treat and how to act you and like, the way that you respond is like what people expect.

Absolutely. Right. Got it. That is That is like the

instant text messages when people don't text me at 6am. Oh, my God, and you're just like, No, no one's responding. So yeah, I

don't want to talk about business. Yeah, until after 9am. If it's that, yeah. Don't send me a message on Instagram about business. Here's my email. Yeah, doesn't matter if I know you like, let's just keep it professional. So even little things like that I've been trying to like, be very serious about because lines can get blurred all the time. Yes. And it's just like, how do you separate the things? So people would take you serious? And you're right, it all does depend on how you answer. Because even when folks are like, Why can you come to this? And you know, rates might not align or hey, you know what, I couldn't go but for this long. Yeah, you know, you have to build limits and boundaries. Yeah, I'll be able to be there. But I can't do a whole day of this. And it's just not my thing. Well,

also a question, a big, juicy question I love to talk about in everyday recruiting, but like, you're worth, oh, my God, I'm saying that salary, the pay, this is not the prices, right? We're not negotiating on a spinning wheel of like, how much you know, it's going to cost and I feel like, we don't talk about money enough, truly. And I think it's women, there's so much shame in talking even with our friends, like I make x and I make that and like, it's fine, like whatever you want to hear. But like, we all have to live, and we make money to live and I think like to give discounts or concede or feel like, Oh, my prices are too high. It's like no, like, you have to stand on your worth. So like, how has that evolved for you? I mean, especially from a salary point of view, where you've worked like salary jobs, but then also a lot you do as project and contract. Right, right. Like how have you like really stood up for yourself in the freelance

world is not easy. And you know, I struggled with that for a long time, like for a talk, going in somewhere saying what your worth is, you know, you'll find yourself basically working for free for people. And for somebody and you're doing all the work and you're tired and you're you're sick and you're frustrated, you're not happy. You're not getting paid enough. And because somebody knows you, they're taking advantage of your time. You know, and it says all these different things and then you're like Wait a second, like,

is not massive. Yeah.

I believe in this and this and that, but like, I have bills to pay. And I am like, yeah, so So all of that. So I've, as I've grown, and have experienced different things, whether that whether they were negative or positive. Now I'm really like, you have to remember, remember your worth, not only like who you are as a person, but like money talks, when Yes, you know, what your what are your numbers? Yeah. And and for a long time I go, Yeah, I could do this at this like, no, like, if I'm bringing value to your brand by being me. How was that benefiting? The both of us like I'm providing a service. And sometimes you would get into things, you know, not being compensated for friends and this and that. It's like, you also need friends that are gonna support you. Yeah, like, there's always one friend, what can I do this for free? It's like, I'm starting my business. I am starting this, like, I want to seem, I'm very blessed that my friends always show up. And then I will pay a ticket, right? Just because you're doing it. Yes. You were showing up like those are? And that's what I mean about picking your village? Yes, it's not only about money, but like, those are the people who are going to uplift you, you know what I mean? But yeah, your worth is really important. You really need to understand who you are, and what the value of who you are in your brand. What does it bring? How does it uplift somebody else? And that is something that now also, you know, because why am I affiliated with? Oh, can you do this? Can you do that? And you know, also it's not for me, it's not, um, I want to do make clarify that it's not always about the dollar sign and about the money. Because if it does have a mission, and if it's for a community or something to give back, I'm all for it. But still there. There should be boundaries in different ways. You know? Yes. Say your first say your price. I always say start high and drop it. Yes. Yeah. Hi. Yes. And the first time I did that, and they said, Yes, I was like, Oh, shit,

right. You're like, I've been like, I need to go back.

bawling myself. Yes. I feel like we all do that. Why? Why did I lowball myself? What's the worst that can happen? They're gonna say no. And then.

Yeah, and I definitely feel like the ones that try to nickel and dime, you are also people you work with that like, are never happy to the investment because they're like, well, I already feel like I paid too much. And then you're like, in this like, bad energy space, it's like, go out there have that number, right? If you have to negotiate a bid where maybe they can't do this, but like, listen, we're going to add this, this and this fine, like if it's a full package situation, but I'm always like, don't let someone like dictate the value of what you bring to the table, like, you just can't, and

you have to be confident I think, who you are and what it is that you bring to the table to be able to go and 500 100 versus like, you can't go into the price and not understand why they should pay you that well. And we

all know as people that love to be like a charge and all the things and I'm just like, Excuse me, wait, what's going on here? Like, absolutely not. So and I feel like early on in your career, like it's fine. Like, I remember when I first started coaching, and I remember like, my, my first coaching client actually felt bad. That was like, I'm not there yet. But I feel like as you grow as your offerings grow as your expertise grows, like, so does everything else, pay to have that access to you. And, you know, we all know the energy vampires and you just gotta like nip that in the bud and can't let people suck the life out of you know, you,

you you can you.

So what do you love most about like, where you are in career in life right now? Yeah, I

feel like there's a lot of things that I still have to accomplish, obviously, I know as Yes, MTV. Or a news. I mean, we were at the visual part of you know what I'm trying to

put it in the show.

We'll do another podcast, update each other. But no, I'm still elevating. I'm still evolving. I'm still learning. But I really do love that I'm finally I like this point in my life where like, everything is meaningful. Everything is intentional. All of my negative experiences from the past have brought me to be the strong woman that I am today. And I feel good about it. I love having a flexible schedule like that, to me, it's really important. And

that's currency right there. Right? Yeah, being able to

run things how I want it feels really, really great. And that takes a while to get there. And I just love that I'm taking care of myself more. So that's really important. Yeah,

I'm going through one of those like big moments where pretty much for the past like seven months been like straight out. Yeah. And for me like some autoimmune like health things started popping up where if you don't slow down, your body's going to do that for you.

It will let you know. And we have two bodies. Absolutely. Yes. And it's like when we're working and we're going and we're going home we forget about even just the smallest thing right health,

right breathing, getting rest shutting that damn computer down and like when your eyes like breathe, I know there are days where I feel like even itchy in my seat. I'm like I have to get up. So I love that.

I'm a big calendar person. You have to block your downtime.

Oh def Really? Oh yeah, I'm getting better. Good. This is inspiring. Things I will be watching this multiple times over. So what advice would you give to someone you wish someone told you early on in your career as like a lasting inspiration? Yeah,

yeah. Okay. Wow, so many different lessons learned. but confidence is important. You don't have to stay authentic. Like, like, figure out who you are, figure out what you want to do. Like be very clear, and what you want to do, because I know that change is good. Change is always good, you know what I mean? But like when once you get clarity on your goals, it's much easier because then you understand who you want to surround yourself with. Who are the people that you want in your circle and how you want to move in life. But definitely, like, don't forget about you, don't forget about you and what you want to do. And like, just keep reaching for the stars, it's doable, it might take us a whole while. But be intentional about everything, have a strategy about how you want to be how you want your life to grow. We are the authors of our lives. And whether it may take a really long time, we're gonna get there, we're gonna get there. But if like I said, if you just around with people that are going to, like, remind you like, Hey, man, don't forget, you are incredible. Like I just like lift you up. Life is just much easier when you're in a positive environment. Now, I

feel that and I think clarity of what's next truly comes from sometimes, you know, doing that pivot, and knowing you're not gonna be the expert. Right. And I think there's so many people that are wanting to make these like big moves and are so stuck and like, what do I do? And you know, sometimes you're gonna have to start at the beginning. Yeah, like get back to and

I just want to add to that, that yeah, again, emphasizing self care is really important because yeah, even though we want we want we want and there's like all these big goals, like if you're not doing the internal work is difficult. Yeah. So just like, also take the time make that a part of your, you know, your goals, strategies, like I have to make sure that I'm okay to be able to like show

up. Yep. No, I love that. What about some fun things about Melissa? You know, in terms of this like beautiful inspiring soul that gives so much others like, what are like, tell us like what, what made you just someone not know about you? What are your non negotiables in your routines? Do you have any other hidden talents?

Like I said, I love to be home as much as I like to like, be outside, as they say, and go out with my girlfriends just to have fun and be in music or whatever. Like I love to be home and just make crack jokes with my friend. I'm hilarious. My friends know we got together. We're cracking jokes. We're laughing. Because he Yes, I love doing oh my god, what if we do this and like making up stories in our heads and stuff, but I think I'm a really outgoing person. I just I just I love to have fun, but I also love to be at peace. Yeah, I also love to be at peace. I'm a drama free person. I just want to be chill. My zen like fun moment. And yet, I think probably it Yeah, yeah. Not to like, I'm just trying to like live life in a very positive chill. Yeah, you know,

what are you most excited about looking into the future? Like, what I am

very excited about my future. And it's like, I don't know exactly what it holds, if that makes sense. But where I'm at right now. Yeah, it feels like a lot of fun. And I feel like there's a lot of room for more. And I feel it come in and then when you are so like, deep into your passion and those things that you love, like it just it's like, yeah, like the energy is just there. So you know, I'm looking forward to be on MTV.

And even maybe me dressing as an eye

contact,

like being able to dream big and like, oh my god, one day I want to do this because you already started like, like starting that journey. Yeah. You know, that feels really fun. And yeah, just so many you're

creating the stages. It's like seeing where all these like channels lead. Well, what is the best way for anyone watching and like, we'll have some great like shownotes sales to engage with you by like, what is your best place for people to like, show up and interact with you? You know, check us out at Celtics game? Yeah,

in Boston, but yeah, always send me out a home Celtics Game Of course. But you know, I'm very active on Instagram. So my Instagram is at Miss Melly Valdez. So you can catch me on there also on my website, Melissa valdez.com and email and stuff so folks reach out all the time and yeah, you know, I respond to one out but that's probably like the easiest way and I love meeting new people I love you know mentoring and getting again I've always like empowering folks but that that feels we like to get that energy back when people want it to just like be great in life really excited.

Well I'm excited to do some partnerships so you I know you're doing some things like Dress for Success yeah and there's such a community with this up and coming population of teens and individuals that live up to you and so many ways so I cannot wait to like a year from now watch this and call you and be like to see all the things we put so much stuff out there as always these in person podcasts like I'll go back and watch them like you went you did it because we're saying out loud now is on video too. So

I want to make sure that you we give you your flowers because you even just creating space you know thank you for welcoming in your home to do this incredible you know podcast that you are just like empowering so many women to speak their story because pivoting with purpose has been literally the story of my life. So I thank you for having me here. And like I can't wait two weeks to catch up but you know, in a year, all the great things that we have both have accomplished

from here. Until then we'll sit and drink Yeah, 700 bottles of wine. I love it. Well, thank you so much. And thank you guys so much for tuning in and stay tuned for other episodes of her purpose coming soon.